Honestly, not much to say.

Mom has more or less been sleeping for 40 hours straight. She woke up a few times while we were there today, but not for more than 10 or 15 minutes at a time, and that was with just 1.0 mg of Ativan at 6am and another 0.5 mg at 4pm. Consensus seems to be it is just sheer exhaustion, which makes sense considering she hasn’t been sleeping much at all for the past several months.

There was some agitation while she was awake, but it was minimal and she was easily comforted with one of us rubbing her head and talking to her. We sent the sitter home this afternoon since I planned to be there until at least 7pm, and I was extremely comfortable with the overnight sitter. She’s also a PCT at Riverside so she has a little more experience than just “sitting.”

Susie stayed with me all day; I don’t think I could have kicked her out if I’d tried (not that I wanted to)! What a friend she is. Still lovingly caring for Marilyn, even on her day off. And, she’s coming back tomorrow as well. ♡

Doc was in and very realistic about the situation. The goal is what it is, but there is a possibility that the most recent decline is just entry into the next stage. Let’s just say he didn’t give me any false hope. The only med change he’s made thus far is cutting the Ativan down to see how she does. As he said, they’re really just doing what Freidenberg did; basically trial and error – and Freidenberg tried everything imaginable.

I’m not going to sugar coat things; I’m worried. She’s been asleep for such a long time, hasn’t had anything except a small cup of ice cream today and no fluids; terribly dehydrated and weak… I want to remain positive, but I’m just not sure she can bounce back. It’s very odd to be in a position where you’re in a hospital setting but really can’t do much of anything that will make a difference.

Per her living will, there is to be no artificial nutrition or hydration, and it’s an extremely difficult thing to watch. But before she was ill, she was always very adamant about what she wanted – and didn’t want, and we have to respect her wishes. …That certainly doesn’t make it any easier, though.