30 Thursday Aug 2012
Posted in Mom
The other day at Eason House, two caregivers were at the kitchen table playing cards with two of the ladies. My mom wandered over to the table, and one of the gals encouraged her to come and sit with them. Mom looked at her sadly and said, clear as a bell, “Nobody loves me.”
((( Sigh )))
26 Sunday Aug 2012
Posted in Behaviors, fear, Mom, Uncategorized
When I was at Eason House after work on Thursday, Mom was quiet but very, very sweet. She told me that my shiny necklace was pretty, gave me a big hug, and laid her head on my shoulder as we sat together on the sofa. She dozed off repeatedly, but never for more than a few minutes at a time.
The last time she woke up, she surprised me by wanting to go back to her bedroom. Most nights, she falls asleep in the living room, so this was interesting. I helped her out of her robe, and she laid right down in bed. As I stood there rubbing her back until she fell asleep, I momentarily flashed back to standing over the crib, rubbing Jess’ back until she would fall asleep… Back then, I certainly couldn’t have imagined that this is where we would be 26 years later. Life is funny that way, isn’t it?
Fast forward to today. When I arrived, Mom and Rene were just heading back into the house after sitting on the porch for awhile. The heat was a bit much, and the woman who was so sweet and loving a few days ago looked thoroughly p*ssed off at the world. Somewhere between getting out of the car and stepping into the house, I realized that it was not a particularly good day. She was edgy to say the least.
She has a very disturbing habit of smacking her head with both hands, in what appears to be a fit of frustration. It’s one of the things I hate the most, because she just looks so lost and so sad. When she does this, I often wonder if she’s having a moment of clarity and realizing that something is wrong with her brain. The doc says that’s not possible, but I don’t buy it – science doesn’t get it right 100% of the time.
Anyway, today, she was doing it so much that I thought perhaps she had a headache. Unfortunately, we’ll never know why she does it or what’s going on in that mind of hers, but whatever it is, it has to be awful for her.
One thing was certain; I couldn’t do anything to make her happy. Even as we cuddled on the sofa, she was extremely restless and was soon up and pacing. Dinner didn’t do much for her either. In fact, at one point, I thought I was going to be wearing both her her drink and a handful of baked beans… I finally gave up trying to get her to eat. She was very tired, and just wasn’t having any of it.
As I looked around the table, taking everything in, one thought washed over me with the strength of Niagara Falls. At that moment, all I could think was, “Please, God, don’t let this happen to me…”
14 Tuesday Aug 2012
Posted in Care Options, Caregivers, Eason House, Inspiration, Mom, Ruminations
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how blessed we are. If we have to be in this situation, dealing with this disease, we couldn’t ask for a better facility or team of caregivers – there are no words to describe what special people they are. They’ve truly become family. While there may be a few places that consistently offer care as good, I’m convinced there isn’t a single place that provides better.
The past week has been less than ideal; let’s just say Mom’s moods are changing quicker than the Presidential candidates’ campaign promises. She can be hugging and kissing the girls one minute, and five minutes later, for no apparent reason, she’ll haul off and backhand them. And, alas, do not be fooled by her frail appearance – mama is as strong as an ox, and she can hit hard!
Ups and downs, the caregivers at Eason House take it all in stride, they don’t complain, and they love their charges unconditionally. In fact, I’m pretty sure that when the phrase “unconditional love” was conceived, it was to describe people just like them. Let’s face it, these girls see it all – the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Here’s something to ponder next time you’re having a bad day at work. Suppose your typical day involved: having food thrown at you, being hit, kicked, pinched, bitten, and/or cussed at, cleaning up every imaginable bodily “fluid,” including ones you never knew existed… plus cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner, giving showers, doing the laundry, keeping the house clean, entertaining your clients, feeding people (literally), dealing with family members, providing reports and updates to doctors, watering the flowers, answering the same questions multiple times per hour (…what day is it? …when are we leaving? … what time is dinner? -to name a just a few), and a myriad of other “duties as assigned.”
Can you imagine juggling all of that? For the caretakers at Eason House, it’s literally all in a day’s work. And somehow, through it all, they manage to smile, and most importantly, they manage to love.
I would be remiss if I didn’t mention a couple of other things. Most of these girls work 12-hour shifts. Come on, 8-hour days are for sissies! We’re talking 12-hours back to back to back, etc. And they certainly don’t do it for the riches. I have to admit, sometimes I wonder why they DO do it. Then I’m reminded that they do it because they’re angels on earth. They do it because of the love in their hearts.
I never knew it was possible for a person (who isn’t even a family member) to love someone the way these girls love my mom. Despite all the sh*t (literally), the mood swings, and the obstinate behavior, they give true, unconditional, unparalleled, no holds barred… l-o-v-e. Every.single.day.
So, all of that said, when I read this piece that describes the kind of care we all want for our loved ones, it rang so true…
Sometimes, it’s impossible to find adequate words to describe a situation or feeling. That is certainly the case when I think about how thankful I am for Eason House and our awe-inspiring caregivers.
The Long and Winding Road... 