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The Long and Winding Road…

~ An Alzheimer's Journey and Beyond

The Long and Winding Road…

Category Archives: Celebrities

The Loss of an Alzheimer’s Champion

19 Saturday Jan 2013

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Advocacy and Awareness, ALZ Assn - National, Celebrities, Inspiration

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Pauline Friedman Phillips, more commonly known as Abigail Van Buren – or Dear Abby – passed away on January 17. She was 94 years old and had suffered from Alzheimer’s for over 15 years.

I remember hearing a lot about Dear Abby, probably back in the 70’s, but never really paid much attention. As I’ve been reading about her the past couple of days, I’m finding she was actually quite an extraordinary woman. In 1956 at the age of 38, she approached the editor of the San Francisco Chronicle and informed him that the paper’s advice column was boring. She submitted samples of her work and was promptly hired to take over the column. In 1956, that was a pretty bold move for a female! Let’s face it, the 1950’s was the decade of June Cleaver, a far cry from the career women of this millennium (absolutely no offense to stay at home moms, but it was a different world sixty years ago!).

Not afraid of ruffling feathers, Mrs. Phillips was an early supporter of gay rights, and when asked her opinion on Viagra, she called it “wonderful.” While Dear Abby was once known for advising against divorce, she credited her readers with teaching her that under certain circumstances, it was the only healthy choice. Willingly admitting that she could be cocky, she also showed great compassion for her readers. Upon receiving letters from people that sounded suicidal, she would pick up the phone and call them, encouraging them to seek help.

I had no idea that she was also a very early advocate for Alzheimer’s disease, again showing her willingness to tackle tough topics. In 1980, she published a letter from a woman seeking advice after her husband had been diagnosed with ALZ. Abby assured the distraught woman that she wasn’t alone and told her about a newly formed organization called the Alzheimer’s Association. Within two weeks of that column’s publication, the Association was flooded with inquiries.

Over the years, Abby continued to help connect people with the ALZ resources they needed, so there was some irony in the fact that she herself began to show signs of the disease in the mid 1990’s. Lonnie Wollin, one of the founders of the Alzheimer’s Association calls her impact on ALZ advocacy “profound.” She credits Mrs. Phillips with boosting awareness and helping enable the Association obtain funds to support families, educate caregivers, and ultimately increase the country’s research budget from $2 million in 1980 to over $450 million today.

So from all of us who have personal experience with this unrelenting disease, and for all whose life will be touched by it in the future: Thank you, Dear Abby. May you rest in peace. ♥

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Another day…

29 Thursday Nov 2012

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Celebrities, HomeReach, Hospice, Mom

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…and not a great one. It started out beautifully, for the first ten minutes I was there. The rest of the day, however, not so much.

When I came in, Mom sat up in the chair, clearly responding to my entrance. She smiled and held out her hand to me. I went over and kissed her, and she kissed me back. It was the kind of moment you want to remember forever – so very sweet.

Unfortunately, things went downhill from there. Fussing, yelling, crying. Absolute torture to watch and I’m sure even more torturous for her to experience. It was sometime this afternoon when I realized we could not continue this. It just isn’t fair to prolong her suffering if there is something that can be done to calm her. I called HomeReach Hospice and they are coming to admit her tomorrow. Such a difficult decision, but I just don’t think we have a choice. Simply put, not doing anything would be cruel at this point. Now the goal will be to keep her comfortable and at Eason House where she is truly at home.

Today was the first time I’ve heard her call out for her mother, but there was no mistaking it. She called “my mother” four different times throughout the course of the day. Oh how I wish I knew who and what she is seeing, hearing, and thinking. Her struggle is obvious, and this was one of those days where I couldn’t do a damn thing to soothe her. Not.a.single.thing. Without a doubt, the most helpless feeling in the world.

This does provide reassurance that bringing hospice in now is the right thing to do, but somehow that doesn’t make it any easier. Despite the fact that I’ve been saying goodbye to her for eight years, I am not even close to accepting the reality of her actually being gone. It sounds crazy, but I really didn’t realize how difficult this would be. It’s not as though we haven’t known it was coming… but the idea of not being able to go sit with her, hold her hand, and hear her say, “I love you” is quite truthfully something I just can’t think about without crying.

The airing of Colleen Marshall‘s annual documentary “Journey Through Alzheimer’s” was tonight, and this year it was particularly poignant – I’m not sure if it was the stories that she told or just the emotionally raw state I’m in. Each segment will be up on the web tomorrow, and I’ll post the links. It really is something everyone should see…

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Once a Heartthrob, Now an ALZ Advocate

23 Sunday Sep 2012

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Celebrities

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