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The Long and Winding Road…

~ An Alzheimer's Journey and Beyond

The Long and Winding Road…

Category Archives: Face of Alzheimer’s

Dear Mom…

14 Monday Dec 2015

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Advocacy and Awareness, Face of Alzheimer's, Grieving, Holidays, Inspiration, Life After Caregiving, Mom, Ruminations

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

alzheimers, alzheimers grief, dementia, grief and loss

Dear Mom,

Time is a strange thing. It’s impossible to believe that tomorrow you will have been gone from our world for three years, yet sometimes it feels like forever since I’ve seen your face. And believe it or not, there are still moments when it doesn’t seem real at all that I’ll never hold your hand again. It’s those moments, when they strike, that move me to tears.


The years have dulled the pain, but there are still moments when it cuts deep and the wound feels fresh and unbearable. There are a million things I wish I could share with you – oh how proud you would be of Jess. The things she’s accomplished, yes, but more importantly the loving, kind, bright, introspective, and passionate human being she is. In the past few years, I’ve seen her blossom like never before. You would be so happy. I see a lot of you in her.

You know, we went to Italy this fall. That was a trip the three of us meant to take, but it never happened. We felt you with us, though. We saw so much that you would have adored – Florence would have been your favorite place, I’m certain of that. It felt fitting that we spend your birthday in a spiritual place, so we toured the Vatican that day. Such beauty – overwhelming to the eyes, the mind, and the heart. How I wish we’d had time to take that trip together before Alzheimer’s came into our lives. Tomorrow is never promised, though, is it?

I still feel angry about the time we missed together; I don’t dwell on it, but it’s there. If you were alive, you would have turned 79 in October, and had it not been for that abysmal disease, you would be a young, healthy, active, and vibrant 79. You would be enjoying retirement, travel, friends, and holidays. We might be baking Christmas cookies right now.

I’ll never understand why life unfolded the way it did, but I vow to make the best of every day because I know that’s what you would want. Even during your long illness, you taught me so much, and those lessons continue to enlighten me three years later. Life is beautiful… and it turns out, the little things are really the big things. I never want to lose sight of that.

In 2016, there will be a new non-profit launched to honor your beautiful memory. We’ll do wonderful things with the money we raise, both to support caregivers and families living this horror right now and to help obliterate Alzheimer’s forever. Anyone who knew you knows you had a way about you – you seemed bigger than life itself, and I promise to keep your memory alive today, tomorrow, and always.

Keep sending the cardinals…

I love and miss you dearly, forever and a day,

Ann
xoxo

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Presidential Candidates Carly Fiorina & Ben Carson on Alzheimer’s

17 Saturday Oct 2015

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Advocacy and Awareness, Caregivers, Face of Alzheimer's, Washington

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Tags

alzheimers, alzheimers caregivers, alzheimers funding, alzheimers research, ben carson, brenda bouchard, candidates on alzheimers, carly fiorina, dementia, honoring ken

New Hampshire resident, Brenda Bouchard, has a full plate and then some! She cares for her husband who is living with younger onset Alzheimer’s, as well as her 89-year-old-mother who also has Alzheimer’s.

All of this, yet she’s managing to find time to attend town halls in her state – and she isn’t just there to observe! To date, Brenda has been called on to ask 11 candidates about their plans regarding the Alzheimer’s crisis.

If you’ve missed the previous posts, click here to see all of them. Brenda has asked her question of Clinton, Kasich, Santorum, Bush, Sanders, Trump, Paul, Walker, and Rubio. In this post, you’ll see and hear her address Carly Fiorina and Ben Carson.

Take a look and draw your own conclusions.


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A New Film About Alzheimer’s: His Neighbor Phil

26 Saturday Sep 2015

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Advocacy and Awareness, Caregivers, Face of Alzheimer's, Films, Helpful Resources, Inspiration, Smiles

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

alzheimers, alzheimers awareness, alzheimers movie, dementia, his neighbor phil, zumbrota minnesota

His Neighbor Phil is a work of fiction, but one that very realistically chronicles the life of a family facing younger onset Alzheimer’s. The movie aptly demonstrates the ups and downs millions of families face every single day. From the first frame, it gently draws its viewers in with a heartfelt story that could just as easily be yours or mine.

Scott Thompson, who wrote and directed the film, skillfully peels back the many layers of this difficult subject matter in a brief ninety minutes. Thompson takes us through the full spectrum of emotions from moments of joy and unapologetic laughter through profound sadness – very true to life.

Image Source https://vimeo.com/103831298

Stephanie Zimbalist offers a brilliant performance as Mary, a witty, engaging wife and mother in her late 50’s. As Mary goes about her daily routine, we see poignant moments of clarity that mirror what many of us have witnessed in our own loved ones. At one point, she apologizes for “being so much trouble,” and as viewers, our hearts just sink.

Mary’s gentle, loving husband Harvey is played by Daniel Roebuck. The patience and tenderness he shows as he cares for his wife are exceptionally touching. Harvey exudes a quiet strength and devotion as her partner and protector, and his commitment is unwavering. When he takes Mary back to the local theater they once managed together, he discovers that music triggers something in her. While the music plays, he has his Mary back; this becomes a key element in the story.

Image Source http://www.ci.zumbrota.mn.us

As an adult daughter who watched my mother’s heartbreaking decline at the hand of Alzheimer’s, I found Kristi Knudson’s stinging portrayal of daughter Isabel to be spot on. Though difficult to watch at times, Knudson hit the mark with regard to the frustration, denial, and anger that comes with reluctantly assuming the role as your own mother’s caregiver. By the end of the film, she softens, accepting Mary for who she is now; the viewer is left with a sense that they are finally in a good place.

Supporting roles were brilliantly cast to highlight the depth and complexity of both the storyline and the characters themselves. In particular, Ellen Dolan’s quirky, free-spirited “Charlie” (Mary’s sister) provides bits of clever comic relief as well as some of the most moving moments in the film.

Likewise, Sally Kellerman’s depiction of Mary’s mother, Bernadette, was flawless. While we initially see this character as rather stoic and emotionless, we quickly watch that façade melt away. Although Kellerman’s screen time is minimal, her performance packed a powerful punch.

Image Source http://www.ci.zumbrota.mn.us

His Neighbor Phil proves it doesn’t take a huge budget or the magic of Hollywood to create a beautiful film that inspires hearts and minds. It was shot in Zumbrota, Minnesota, population 3,300, and the citizens of that town provided the majority of the film’s funding along with meals and lodging for the cast and crew.

Apparently this off the beaten path little town in Minnesota is also home to quite a bit of acting talent! A total of 18 local residents appeared in the film, including Kristi Knudson who had never acted before jumping into the role of Isabel! You can read more about the making of the movie in an article from SouthernMinn.com.

I truly loved the film and hope you’ll have an opportunity to see it. For more information about bringing His Neighbor Phil to your area, contact Lori LaBey, founder of Alzheimer’s Speaks at Lori@AlzheimersSpeaks.com.

 

 

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Marilyn, BA (before Alzheimer's)

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