• Home
  • Helpful Resources
  • Reading List
  • Recommended Blogs
  • Marilyn’s Legacy: A World Without Alzheimer’s
  • About Me
  • Contact Me

The Long and Winding Road…

~ An Alzheimer's Journey and Beyond

The Long and Winding Road…

Category Archives: Ruminations

Is this a dream?

20 Sunday May 2012

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Mom, Ruminations

≈ Leave a comment

Despite a rocky start, I had a pretty good visit with mom today. When I went in, I could tell immediately that she was agitated and out of sorts. She didn’t smile; in fact, she gave me a thoroughly disgusted look. I asked her to come sit with me, and she sternly answered, “NO!”

I turned to the girls and asked if she was having a bad day. Yep, she had been this way since waking up this morning. Okay then. Bad day, it is.

After giving her a couple of minutes, I tried again. This time, she did come over and sit with me on the couch. She was very chatty, but I couldn’t make heads or tails of what she was saying, except for the fact that she was bothered by something someone was doing. REALLY bothered. After talking quietly to her for awhile, she settled down, and from that point on was very loving. She kept stroking my face, hands, and shoulders, and at one point patted my leg just the way she used to, bringing back memories of happier times.

We sat outside on the deck for awhile, which she really enjoys. When I think back to her being at Outlook and trapped inside, unable to enjoy beautiful days like this, it makes me sad. I’m so thankful that at Eason House, she can go outdoors anytime she pleases. I believe that feeling of freedom makes a big difference in her quality of life. While we sat, she told me several times how pretty it was as she gestured toward the lovely wooded yard and ravine.

It was one of those days for me, though. I wasn’t feeling great to begin with, and I suppose the reality of the situation got the best of me. Seeing her this way; so childlike. Unable to communicate her thoughts beyond a word or two. Wandering aimlessly at times, and lighting up like a Christmas tree when one of the girls handed Dora to her… I don’t know how to describe it. “Surreal” is fitting, but isn’t a powerful enough word to describe the depth of it all. Sometimes I can’t believe any of this is real. Or that the woman in front of me is my mother…

Share this:

  • Share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
Like Loading...

Mother’s Day and Melancholy Moments

12 Saturday May 2012

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Inspiration, Mom, Mother's Day, Ruminations

≈ 3 Comments

Last week was difficult. It’s amazing how you can plug away, day after day. Minding your own business, not letting your thoughts get the best of you, and then it happens. You see or hear something, and suddenly harsh reality slaps you in the face… Without warning, the weight of the world is upon you, and there’s not a thing you can do about it.

I think the approach of Mother’s Day has had me in a bit of a funk to begin with, but when I saw the piece below on Facebook, it was enough to send me over the edge. And, once the tears started, there was no stopping them until I was literally cried out.

I’ve never wanted to live my life with regrets. Everything is a learning experience, everything happens for a reason, and the bottom line is, we can’t go back and change anything anyway. So, why dwell on what might have been? Generally, when you look back years later, you realize that your mistakes made you stronger or taught you a valuable lesson. There was a reason. But, where my mom is concerned, sometimes, I just can’t reconcile my mistakes at all.

I wish with all my heart that I had been more patient and understanding at the onset of this damn disease. I wish I hadn’t buried my head in the sand, denying that something was very wrong. Ah, I recall thinking, “She isn’t trying hard enough!” or “She isn’t staying active enough!” or “Why is she telling me the same thing AGAIN?” I think my own inability to face the fact that I was losing my guiding light manifested itself such that I just couldn’t rationally deal with the everyday things. Coping mechanism? Surely, I had to have known deep down that this wasn’t just forgetfulness or “a normal part of aging.” So why wasn’t I more patient???

Life is short. Special moments come, and they go just as fast. One day everything is normal, and the next day, the world has been turned upside down. The person you knew and loved is gone, and you miss them more than words can say. Relish the time you spend with loved ones, and if you find yourself heading down this heart wrenching road, try to remember that they can’t help it. It’s not that they aren’t trying, or aren’t listening… They just need your patience, understanding, and love now more than ever…

♥ Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. ♥

Letter from a Mother to a Daughter

My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”… Just listen, please.

Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep. When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl?

When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way… remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day… the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.

If I occasionally lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you. And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked.

When those days come, don’t feel sad… just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you… my darling daughter. 

Share this:

  • Share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
Like Loading...

Worn out

09 Thursday Feb 2012

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Ruminations

≈ 1 Comment

I truly believe that we grossly underestimate how much this disease affects us, as family members, every.single.hour of every.single.day.  Even when we’re not actively thinking about it or worrying about something specific, it’s there, taking up space in our minds.  What if she gets to the point where Eason House can’t take care of her?  What if the money runs out?  How long will this go on?  When is the phone going to ring with someone on the other end delivering bad news? What if these little things I notice in myself are signs that I’m next?  It never stops.  And it’s just exhausting.

Until next time…Carpe diem…

Share this:

  • Share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
Like Loading...
Newer posts →
© Copyright 2025
All Rights Reserved
The Long and Winding Road

Marilyn, BA (before Alzheimer's)

Contributor

Contributor

Recent Posts

  • The Latest Alzheimer’s Research Developments
  • National Caregivers’ Day: February 21, 2025
  • June 7, 2021: A Historic Day
  • UsAgainstAlzheimer’s National Alzheimer’s Summit: Don’t Miss It!
  • Happy 84th Birthday, Mom.

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 443 other subscribers

Archives

Blog Directory & Business Pages at OnToplist.com

Blog Stats

  • 145,036 hits

Meta

  • Create account
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.com
stats for wordpress

Categories

Popular Posts

  • About Me
  • Thank you!
  • A Special Bond
  • Monday ... on Caregivers
  • Telling the Story
  • Hiding In the Canned Goods Aisle...and Other Stuff
  • Walking a mile in his shoes...
  • CGSN: Focus on YOU!
  • Look for me on VoiceQuilt!
  • Caregiving: Imperfections, Weaknesses, Acceptance, and Forgiveness

Recent Comments

  • Motherhood: Lost and Found, a Memoir of a Mother’s Alzheimer’s | The Long and Winding Road… (alzjourney.com) | Ann Campanella on Motherhood: Lost and Found, a Memoir of a Mother’s Alzheimer’s
  • Betty Trimble on Film Review: Angel’s Perch
  • Carol on Caregiver PTSD: Fact or Fiction?
  • (3) Ritamae Reichardt on When Caring Takes Courage: A MUST HAVE Caregiving Guide
  • Mary Jo George on June 7, 2021: A Historic Day

Pages

  • 2013-2014 News Archive
  • Helpful Resources
  • Latest News & Events
  • Postmaster General Letter – Alzheimer’s Semipostal
  • R E S I S T Resources
  • Reading List
  • Recommended Blogs
  • About Me
  • Contact Me
Coming Soon!
Marilyn's Legacy: A World Without Alzheimer's, Inc.
Stay tuned!!

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Subscribe Subscribed
    • The Long and Winding Road...
    • Join 443 other subscribers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • The Long and Winding Road...
    • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...
 

    %d