A good day?
Short lived. Today, right back to where we were. Only had 8 oz Ensure and not a bite of food. Agitated. Exhausted. No reaction to seeing me.
I know there’s no chance of “getting well,” that’s just not how this disease rolls… So I’m not sure why I feel like someone has taken all the wind out of my sails. I didn’t even know my sails had wind in them, for crying out loud.
It’s the ups and downs that kill you… just suck the life right out of you. I guess yesterday I thought maybe, just maybe, she’d had a bad few weeks and was possibly getting past it.
On a bright note, Jess was in a car accident tonight. Yes, I said on a bright note. And yes, another one. God is really testing me, but dammit, I’m going to keep finding the good stuff no matter what. She’s okay, and that is all that matters. Someone rear ended her on 270 at full speed. The more I think about it, the more I realize how blessed we are that she is alright. The other driver’s bumper was dangling. Jess thinks she just has scratches. She was on her way to her next appointment, but said if the trunk opens/closes properly, she isn’t even going to turn it in. She just got the car back from the body shop (from her last accident) less than a week ago… (((sigh)))
BUT, she is okay – and THAT is a blessing. Thank you, God.
I don’t know. It’s just one of those nights. Thought I was fine, and here I am having an emotional meltdown. Sometimes, having a glass of wine and a good cry is all you can do…
Your ability to focus on the good and finding GOD in every situation continues to be inspiring. Hope is what GOD gives us…it is what helps us to know this life is only temporary and HE will finish a good work in you and will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. Hope doesn’t mean you never hurt or “have an accident” or just feel sad….it means you are grounded in the knowledge this is not the end, but only the beginning. Joy will return, LOVE exists. May GOD continue to strengthen you and open your eyes and heart to the moments in time.. Laura
Thank you, Laura. You have a way with words… what a beautiful sentiment. Sending hugs!