AngelsExcellent piece by Jeff Anderson at A Place For Mom; great tips to help caregivers start the year off right:  5 Caregiver Resolutions: A To-Do List for the New Year

And, an update on my feelings about hospice following our experience in December:   Hospice: Why I’m a Believer

As for me, I spent about 48 hours in bed nursing major sinus issues and a bad cough, and am finally back amongst the living. Spent this afternoon making just a tiny dent in the mess that I call home. It’s going to feel so good to get things back in order, and hopefully organizing my things will translate to making me feel like my life is a bit more organized as well.

There are things I haven’t touched – mom’s clothes are still sitting in the dresser drawers awaiting my attention. Same goes for boxes brought back from Eason House and stuff from the memorial this past weekend. I haven’t done a thing about probate yet, aside from checking the website for information on how to get started and finding myself frustrated, annoyed, and in no mood to deal with any of it.

I’m slowly catching up on ‘thank you’ notes, and I put away all of the Christmas stuff today; you may recall that two of my very favorite elves surprised me by decorating while we were at Kobacker House. I took my time taking everything down. Lots of Christmas memories in all of those treasured ornaments. So many emotions bubbling up.

I thought I had been mourning the loss of my mom year in and year out as her disease progressed, but now I’m beginning to wonder. I feel like I’m starting from square one. With the Celebration of Life complete, there is some finality around the whole thing and it’s time for life to move on. I’m finding that I’m infinitely sad – not just for the loss of Mom on December 15th, but for the loss that started all the way back in 2004. For all the memories we didn’t get to make and all the time we didn’t have together before ALZ reared its ugly head. Now the magnitude of my loss is hitting home…