Tonight, I don’t feel like beating around the proverbial bush – let’s just get right to it.
I’m MAD. Pissed. Irate. Infuriated.
Angry as hell that I don’t have my mom. Mad that when I have a day like I had today I can’t pick up the phone and talk to her about it. Furious that Alzheimer’s took her away just when she was supposed to be starting to enjoy the retirement she worked so hard for.
I know I’m not the only one who has ever felt this way, but at the moment it doesn’t matter. I want to shout from the rooftops. I want to shake the people who have the power, yet don’t do anything to change this situation. I want the world to know what this disease does and that it’s so much more than memory loss. I want them to realize this is not just a disease of the elderly; people are diagnosed in their 40’s and 50’s – sometimes even younger. I want the masses to be well aware that Alzheimer’s has NO SURVIVORS.
Mom would be 77-years-old if she were here today. She lived until two months past her 76th birthday. When she died, it had been nearly a decade since we’d been able to travel together and almost that long since we could sit and have a normal conversation. We missed out on all of those precious years together. At 77, she should have been able to travel to Napa with us a couple of weeks ago. Oh how she would have loved that trip!
My mom’s body was healthy and strong; had it not been for Alzheimer’s, I have no doubt she would be here enjoying an active retirement just like so many of her friends. And, right now I’d be on the phone telling her about my day while she reminded me that everything happens for a reason even if we don’t know what it is….