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The Long and Winding Road…

~ An Alzheimer's Journey and Beyond

The Long and Winding Road…

Category Archives: Caregiver Burnout

Catch the Spirit

03 Thursday Dec 2015

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Caregiver Burnout, Caregivers, Holidays, Inspiration

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

caregivers, caregiving at the holidays, holiday stress, holidays

Today, something a tad bit off-topic, but relevant nonetheless. I wrote this piece back in 2003. Twelve years later, we still seem to be racing through life. Caregivers have even more challenges at this time of year – trying to juggle everything while doing their best to create a perfectly idyllic holiday.

The world seems to be going crazy, doesn’t it? Another shooting this afternoon. Fourteen people dead. I just read there have been over 350 mass shootings this year alone in the U.S. Our priorities are so mixed up, what’s happening? So much anger and hate. Too many tragic events. The world needs peace and love, and we all need to slow down. I hope these words touch your heart.

 


© Ann Napoletan

December 17, 2003

As I sit here alone at the end of my day, the house is quiet and dark, lit only by the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree and the glare of the laptop’s display panel.  A sparse dusting of snow has fallen and the mercury will likely plunge to icy-cold depths tonight.

My workday was hectic as usual and I opted to forgo lunch in order to escape the office early for some errand running.  Little did I know those errands would prompt such a conundrum of thoughts in my overactive, ever-churning brain.

Drained by the day’s frenzy, yet wound tighter than a rubber band perched for launch, I was more than ready to switch gears when I hit the road shortly after 3:30.  With holiday music playing on the radio and a light powdery snow falling gently from above, I thought about the fact that Christmas is just one week away.

With each year, time passes more quickly.  The month between Thanksgiving and Christmas is gone in the blink of an eye; holiday preparations are rushed, and it seems as though there is less and less time to actually soak up the spirit of the season.

This year, I made a conscious decision to simplify.  Rather than putting up two trees, I did one.  Instead of dragging out every single Christmas decoration from the many I have collected over the years, I pulled out only those that struck me as most cherished the day I set to the task of “decking the halls.”  As for baking, I decided there would be no rushing to squeeze in all the hours it takes to make a dozen different kinds of cookies.  Instead, I opted for two traditional favorites – Aunt Flora’s pizzelles and my soft cutout sugar cookies.   It just wouldn’t be Christmas without those.  Even the process of shopping for gifts was simplified as much as possible through use of the Internet.

My deliberate attempt at holiday simplification was definitely a tradeoff.  Sure, I find myself missing some of those extra decorations and lights that are still tucked away in their boxes, and I would love to have my usual extensive assortment of homemade cookies with which to adorn holiday trays.  But, at some point, something has to give.

This year, I actually enjoyed the 4 hours or so that it took to lovingly press each of those pizzelle cookies. I wasn’t nearly as rushed as in past years, so I was able to relish the warmth emanating from the iron and the scent of anise seed and sweet pizzelle dough as it wafted through the air.

Since I’d pared down my decorations, I took my time trimming the tree.  I sat for hours sorting through ornaments – taking time to place them just perfectly and think about the history and fond memories each special ornament holds.

This past weekend, we even took a ride to look at Christmas lights, something we hadn’t done in years.  And, over the past couple of weeks, I’ve tried to spend some quiet time now and then in the evening, just enjoying holiday music and the magic of our very special tree.

Even with all of this, I feel as though the holiday season is passing me by.  The evenings are short and the weekends even shorter.

It all makes me wonder about life and the ridiculous pace at which we run.

In the past two days, I have witnessed three drivers blatantly run red lights.  I’m not referring to sneaking through as yellow turned to red, but rather RUNNING the full-fledged-red light at a dangerous rate of speed.  Fortunately, in all three instances, other drivers were alert and disaster was averted.

Are people in that big of a big hurry?   Has the holiday rush made everyone kick up their pace yet another notch?  Or are people just so consumed by their ever-growing to do lists that they have become oblivious to their surroundings?  How much is too much?

Twice in the past week, I have been in stores and seen people rifling through racks while carrying on lengthy, rather loud, cell phone conversations.   I am one who has always defended appropriate use of cell phones.  Mine is a great convenience to me; however, I find it hard to believe that anyone has a 30-minute conversation that is so pressing it must be carried out in public for the entire world to hear.   Can’t these things wait?

What is happening to our society?

Based on life as we know it today, I truly fear for where we will be in 10 or 20 years if this pattern continues.

Priorities have become a tangled up mess, and for too many people, the things that bring true happiness are nowhere near the top of the list.   There is certainly no time for dreams or setting truly fulfilling personal goals.

People displaying road rage as they make their way from one pre-holiday sale to the next – where will it end?

The next time you’re waiting in line in a store or sitting in traffic, take time to observe those around you.  How many people are on cell phones?   Compare the number of friendly faces you see with the number of scowls.  How many instances of road rage do you witness in a week?  And, how many of the people you pass by in a day look as if they are stressed to wit’s end?

So many people just living day to day, minute to minute – not even LIVING, but merely existing.  From the moment the alarm sounds at dawn, until their weary heads hit the pillows in the wee hours, people are just going through the motions.  Crossing things off the to-do list, paying the bills if just barely, scurrying to meet unrealistic deadlines and goals dictated by others, running hither and thither never really accomplishing anything of great significance.

This year, before it’s too late, I challenge you to slow down and catch the holiday spirit.  Don’t let it go – grab it.  Enjoy the simple things.  Don’t let the intense commercialism fool you; Christmas isn’t about the material things.  Without hesitation, I would trade it all for simpler times and a more serene world.

In the words of John Lennon, life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.

Each of us only gets one life; make the best of everyday…do what makes you happy; make a difference in the lives of those you love and those you may not even know.

And, Happy Holidays.  Now, go catch the spirit – before it’s too late.

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Caring for the Caregiver: Essential Oils

24 Sunday May 2015

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Caregiver Burnout, Caregivers

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

alzheimers, alzheimers caregiving, caregivers, caregiving, essential oils

I was recently introduced to essential oils, and have become very interested in their therapeutic properties. Up to this point, my experience had been limited. I knew they smelled good and that lavender was said to decrease stress and improve sleep, but it didn’t go much further than that. It was really conversations with a few friends that piqued my curiosity.

Why Essential Oils?

Essential oils are nothing new; in fact, they’ve been around for centuries. However, with increasing concerns over use of harmful chemicals in everything from household cleaners to shampoo, there is definitely a heightened interest in natural alternatives. Oils have many practical household applications, but I’m most interested in what they can do for our mind, body, and spirit. Continue reading →

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The Zen of Grown Up Coloring

13 Monday Apr 2015

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Books, Caregiver Burnout, Caregivers, Helpful Resources, Ruminations, Smiles, Tips

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

adult coloring books, caregiver mini respite, caregiver stress, caregiver tips, grown up coloring

colorAs much as the world has come to depend on technology, I sometimes find myself wondering if it’s a blessing or a curse. The benefits gained as a result of computers, smartphones, and tablets are irrefutable; however, these things have also ushered in the era of being connected 24x7x365. Multitasking has practically become an Olympic sport, as it’s done to an increasingly absurd degree.
 

Looking For a Reprieve?

Whether you’re a full-time caregiver or someone who has a full-time career and oversees the care of a loved one, you know what it feels like to be overwhelmed and on the verge of burnout. You yearn for simpler times and wish you could just turn it all off (both figuratively and literally) for a few hours!

My caregiving days are over, but with a full-time-and-then-some career as well as writing, advocacy, and volunteer pursuits on the side, and the usual life/home maintenance activities, things can get dicey. Like most of the rest of the world, I struggle with priorities and balance some days more than others.

Stress has a significant bearing on our overall health and wellness, and caregivers know this better than anyone. So with life moving at such a fast pace, how do we find time for respite when a month in Hawaii or even just a quiet week at home isn’t in the cards?

When all else fails, grab a coloring book!

secretNext time you feel your priorities are askew, your perspective is out of whack, or your brain is just craving a time out, pick up a coloring book!

As unlikely as it sounds, Scottish artist Johanna Basford has sold over 1.4 million copies of her first adult coloring book, Secret Garden. The follow up, Enchanted Forest, appears to be following suit; both books are sold out on Amazon and BN.com!

In this article by Katelyn Murphy, Basford explains that she simply set out to create a coloring book she would enjoy. Noting the carefree nature of children, she wondered if an activity as simple as coloring might bring calm to an otherwise chaotic adult world. To her surprise, thousands of others desperate for a bit of relaxation sans smartphone or other electronic devices decided she was onto something.

Sound interesting? Just Google “Adult Coloring” or do a search on Pinterest and prepare to be amazed! This stress-busting diversion is a piece of cake to get into, requiring very little time and just a few inexpensive materials. Here is a great list of 16 Colouring Books Perfect for Grown-ups, courtesy of BuzzFeed.

My First Grown Up Coloring Experience

In the interest of, ahem, science, I decided I should check this out for myself so I stopped at Barnes & Noble over the weekend and picked up my first “grown up” coloring book. With a dozen or so options to choose from, I selected Peace & Love by Thaneeya McArdle and settled on a set of 12 Rikota Brush Markers (which, by the way, I love!).

IMG_1302The book begins with a few basics on coloring mediums, an explanation of the color wheel, and some beautiful examples of bright designs in rich, vivid, “feel good” tones. Just flipping through the pages had me eager to let my inner artist run wild and sure enough after about an hour I decided that perhaps I’ve been looking for Zen in all the wrong places.

I really enjoyed this time, and focusing on the detailed pattern cleared my mind of its usual pandemonium (no small feat). There’s something about the act of coloring that really is Zen-like, and I think that feeling, combined with the overall sense of joy found in creative pursuits, makes this a great temporary escape from reality.

So to all of my co-workers: should you come by my office tomorrow and find me coloring – worry not! It’s just a few minutes of calm in the midst of a typical frenetic workday, and if you’re extra nice, I might even let you use my markers!

I’d love to hear from others on this topic. What do you think? Have you or would you give coloring a try at this stage in your life? Why or why not? If you’ve already found it to be something you enjoy, tell us about your experience.

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Between 2009 and 2015, Marilyn’s Mighty Memory Makers have raised over $22,000 in the fight to #ENDALZ! To all who have supported us, THANK YOU!!

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