Tips for the Caregiver in Your Life

11 Monday Mar 2013

Posted by Ann Napoletan in A Place for Mom, Blogging, Caregivers, Caregivers.com, Finding a Facility, Grieving, Guilt and Regrets, Helpful Resources, Products, Safety, Technology, The Early Years, Tips

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I saw this post today at A Place For Mom, and felt it was worth sharing. One of the hardest parts of this journey is knowing when it’s time for assisted living or some other care arrangement. With that comes finding the right fit, having some very difficult discussions, and dealing with your own guilt and grief. The article provides some excellent information and useful tips; if you feel your family is headed down this path, it’s worth a read: How To Recognize Signs It’s Time for Assisted Living.

Also my Caregivers post today might be of help to you or the caregiver in your life. I’m going to be reviewing several caregiver smartphone apps in the coming weeks, and today I’m taking a look at CareZone. It’s a great little tool that’s definitely worth a look. I can say without question, it would have made my life easier all the way back to when Mom was still living independently. Check it out and share with anyone who might benefit: Getting Organized: There’s an App for That!

Regrets… and Being Human

18 Monday Feb 2013

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Blogging, Caregivers.com, Grieving, Guilt and Regrets, Life After Caregiving, Ruminations, The Early Years

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Today’s Caregivers piece speaks to the topic of regrets, the importance of remembering that we’re all human, and the fact that with being human comes imperfection…

Caregiving and Beyond: Coping With Feelings of Regret

An Unexpected Therapy Session

15 Friday Feb 2013

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Grieving, Guilt and Regrets, Life After Caregiving, Mom, Ruminations, Support system

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I’ve been having sinus issues and coughing – off and on – since this past fall. Just when I think it’s going away, it pops back up, so I (finally) gave in and went to the doc today. Hopefully a course of antibiotics will clear things up once and for all.

I love my doc, and this visit was more emotional than I expected. You see, she was my mother’s physician first. She was the one I contacted when I finally came to the realization that something more than “she’s just getting older” was going on… I remember making an appointment, then emailing her ahead of time since I knew I wouldn’t be able to give her the full story in front of Mom without upsetting her terribly.

She was the first to administer the MMSE, which, of course, confirmed our fears, and together we watched the score decline with each future exam. She was the one I went to for guidance when I knew Mom just couldn’t drive anymore. She was the one we cried with, more than once. Oh, we were in that office so often for awhile, it was like a second home.

After some time passed, I knew Doc could understand; she could truly relate because her father-in-law was having the same issues. I was surprised to find out today that he passed away just 10 days before my mom, on December 5. As we shared stories, there were some striking similarities.

She let me cry on her shoulder (literally) as she assured me everything I’m feeling right now is perfectly “normal” and that it takes time. A long time. And that while everyone else is just going on with life, it’s natural for me to be screaming internally, “Wait a damn second, NOTHING is normal… Life.is.not.back.to.normal!! I lost my ROCK, people. How dare you just act like life is normal!”

She reminded me that I really DID do the best I could each step of the way and that back in the early days when I lost my patience, it was because I was human. She talked about how her FIL drove her nuts at times, emphasizing the point that we’re all human. And she shared some of their funny stories, which in turn reminded me that even up until those last several weeks, we did have GOOD times. And joy. And laughter. And love. Always love.

It was a good talk. I went in for a sinus infection and ended up getting 45 minutes of therapy, which I apparently needed as much as the antibiotic… Thanks Doc.