
A few more thoughts on the grief workshop I attended this week… Grieving: Daughters Mourning Mothers
01 Wednesday May 2013

A few more thoughts on the grief workshop I attended this week… Grieving: Daughters Mourning Mothers
30 Tuesday Apr 2013
Posted in Grieving, HomeReach, Kobacker House, Life After Caregiving, Mom, Ruminations, Support system
Tonight, I attended the Daughters Mourning Mothers workshop presented by HomeReach Hospice. As an aside, I dropped out of the Grief Recovery program a couple of weeks ago, and that falls under the heading: Another Story For Another Day. Suffice to say I think Grief Recovery is a very good program, but it wasn’t for me – at least not right now.
The workshop tonight was exactly what I was hoping it would be. Small group of women who are grieving the loss of their mothers. Very focused, very specific. This is just what I needed. I felt like they “got me,” and I “got them.”
Our stories were different, yet very much the same. The complexity and depth of the mother/daughter relationship is unique; there’s no other relationship quite like it. I believe that until you’ve lost your mother, you can’t understand this special kind of grief.
Make no mistake, I’m not suggesting that my grief is any deeper or more painful than that of a person experiencing a different kind of loss. But, the key word is different. I don’t think anyone can understand what it’s like to lose your mother like another woman who has lost her mother. I would assume the same applies for loss of child, spouse, et cetera.
In any case, I left Kobacker House tonight wishing that this was an ongoing group rather than just a one-off workshop. Unfortunately, due to lack of resources, they don’t offer a support group specifically for daughters who have lost mothers, but apparently it’s a popular request. Perhaps someday.
I need to spend some time processing everything I took in this evening, but look for more in an upcoming Caregivers piece.
28 Sunday Apr 2013
One of the misconceptions that disturbs me more than any other is the idea that Alzheimer’s patients are “gone” or are nothing more than a shell. Absolutely not true, which is what makes it so heartbreaking to see so many of these sweet human beings left alone to wither away…
The person before you may not be the the same as the one you knew BA (before Alzheimer’s), but there are very strong parts of that person present. They may be buried a little deeper, and you might have to work at reaching them, but the payoff is grand. Those who choose to walk away because it’s “difficult” or “unpleasant” are the ones who are missing out on some of the most poignant beautiful moments in life.
The power of this video cannot be described in words, you must experience it for yourself. Everyone with a connection to this disease should watch it, take it to heart, and remember it forever. They need us. They need love and human connection just like everyone else on this planet…maybe more.