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The Long and Winding Road…

~ An Alzheimer's Journey and Beyond

The Long and Winding Road…

Category Archives: Saying Goodbye

Job Well Done, Marilyn…

19 Wednesday Dec 2012

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Inspiration, Mom, Quotes, Saying Goodbye, Smiles

≈ 2 Comments

A particular Ralph Waldo Emerson quote comes to mind when I think of how many lives my mom touched during her 76 years on this earth. It’s so fitting.

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends. To appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”

I received this very special message the other day, and I have to say that when my time comes, I can only hope someone will feel this way about me. The experiences explained below took place 40+ years ago.

Dear Ann,

First I would like to express my sympathy on the loss of your Mother and friend. Thank you for posting the blogs and sharing so much with us.

I feel compelled to share a few memories of your mom in her much younger years. I first met your family when I worked at the Fruit market across the street from your Dad’s dry cleaning business. I was 15 when I started working there. I am not sure how old your parents were but they were younger than my parents and so much more fun.

Your Mom enjoyed life, had a wit that made me laugh, and was so smart. She also had a little girl that she loved dearly and I had the privilege of babysitting her (you). We became friends and I became part of your family and I loved it. I had many delicious dinners at your house. We played games and went for boat rides at Moraine. They knew my boyfriends. And you were the most awesome little kid. You were so loved by both your parents.

Your Mom could say things to me that my mom could not. As a result, she became a mentor to me. I can attribute much of my success and values to her. It is good for a teenager to be friends with someone who can say “That was stupid” or “What are you thinking?” She encouraged me to go to college and have a career when I couldn’t think past tomorrow. She was wise!

Our friendship continued until I moved to West Virginia, at the age of 22. I’m not sure when you moved to Columbus.

I now teach and work with teens. I am not as witty as your Mom, but I have the honor of saying to many of them “That was stupid” or “What are you thinking?”

I guess what I am saying is I am part of your Mom’s legacy and the people I come in contact with are too. Never underestimate the power of words, actions, friendships, and most of all love. I believe that God put your Mom on this earth at this time to do the job she did so well, both in her healthy years and the not so healthy.

Job well done, Marilyn! Now you can rest in Peace!

 

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Reflection…

19 Wednesday Dec 2012

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Mom, Ruminations, Saying Goodbye, Support system, Uncategorized

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Ran some errands today, picked up a few things for Mom’s Celebration of Life. Jess also talked me into making some pizzelles. We had two irons going, so it didn’t take long and I’m glad she suggested it; otherwise, it’s very unlikely I would have made them. Brought back memories of the last time Mom helped us – here at my house in 2009. She was living at Outlook Manor at the time. I remember she sat down right away and knew just what to do, but lost interest quickly. Smart woman – she decided she’d rather eat the cookies than press them.  (((smile)))

mom1

One of my all time favorite photos – Christmas Eve – Good Ol’ Days

Tonight we sorted through a huge pile of photo albums and pulled more to be scanned for the slide show. I thought we were done until Jess found another huge tub of albums I had forgotten about. Perhaps we’ll get through those tomorrow night and then I can start pulling some jpg’s together.

I am vacillating between being overwhelmed and thinking we have everything covered. And, to be honest, what I’d like to do is just curl up with my favorite blanket for the rest of the winter. Probably a good thing we have so much to do, actually. I’m also extremely thankful for Jess at this time. She’s been staying here at the house, and that has been more of a comfort than I expected.

It’s odd because I usually love my solitude, but not so much at the moment. On the other hand, I really don’t want to be around or even talk to other people right now. Hard to explain. I don’t even really understand it myself… to be honest, the idea of Mom being gone doesn’t even feel real.

Social worker from Kobacker House called today. I guess someone from the “bereavement team” will be calling soon. Their services are available for up to 13 months. I haven’t decided yet whether I’ll take advantage or not…

One thought that keeps running through my head is something a friend said a couple of days ago. Maybe God called Mom home at this time so that she could help comfort the precious babes from Sandy Hook Elementary. When I close my eyes, I can almost envision that – she loved little ones so much. The thought brings me some measure of peace. Just to think of her healthy again and wearing a big smile on her face… surrounded by those sweet children.

The Dispatch ran the obituary today, and I believe it will be in the Butler Eagle tomorrow. I’m pleased with the way it turned out. I had written it while sitting at Kobacker House the night before she passed…

Here are some more of my favorite photos from happier times.

mom2

Being silly – 1986

mom3

Another favorite Christmas image…

mom4

Mom’s retirement hot air balloon ride. She’d always wanted to do this, and I’m so glad we didn’t put it off…

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Slow Motion

17 Monday Dec 2012

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Blogging, Caregivers.com, Eason House, End of Life Planning, Mom, Saying Goodbye, Support system

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As Jess and I did some running around today, I felt like I was operating in slow motion… Getting things taken care of, but I’m in a bit of a fog. I think within a 10 minute span, I run through the entire spectrum of possible emotions. I’ve gotten so many messages from old friends of Mom’s and almost every single one brings tears. It is wonderful to know she meant so much to so many people… I really hope she knew that.

We had an appointment at the funeral home today, and while I was dreading it, the experience was made as painless as possible by a wonderful funeral director. For anyone local needing that service, I would recommend Southwick, Good, & Fortkamp on North High in Clintonville. Family owned, lovely place, and very compassionate people. It’s good to have that task scratched off the to do list.

Jess and I also ran by Eason House to drop off a few things and bring a couple of boxes home. All that’s left is a dresser, her clothes, and a few miscellaneous items which we’ll get later in the week. The house feels very strange. So quiet. So different. My mom definitely added a special energy to the place.

It felt good to see the sweet ladies, though, and spending some time with Mary made me smile. Of all the ladies, she is definitely the most like my mom. Maybe that’s why I have a special place for her in my heart. She started to cry as I was leaving, and I told her to think happy thoughts; that it always helps make us feel better when we’re sad. She looked into my eyes, smiled, and said, “Yes, I will do that.” ♥

I wrote this piece for Caregivers today…. The End of a Journey: Until We Meet Again

Thank you all for your support…

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