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The Long and Winding Road…

~ An Alzheimer's Journey and Beyond

The Long and Winding Road…

Category Archives: Smiles

A New Film About Alzheimer’s: His Neighbor Phil

26 Saturday Sep 2015

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Advocacy and Awareness, Caregivers, Face of Alzheimer's, Films, Helpful Resources, Inspiration, Smiles

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

alzheimers, alzheimers awareness, alzheimers movie, dementia, his neighbor phil, zumbrota minnesota

His Neighbor Phil is a work of fiction, but one that very realistically chronicles the life of a family facing younger onset Alzheimer’s. The movie aptly demonstrates the ups and downs millions of families face every single day. From the first frame, it gently draws its viewers in with a heartfelt story that could just as easily be yours or mine.

Scott Thompson, who wrote and directed the film, skillfully peels back the many layers of this difficult subject matter in a brief ninety minutes. Thompson takes us through the full spectrum of emotions from moments of joy and unapologetic laughter through profound sadness – very true to life.

Image Source https://vimeo.com/103831298

Stephanie Zimbalist offers a brilliant performance as Mary, a witty, engaging wife and mother in her late 50’s. As Mary goes about her daily routine, we see poignant moments of clarity that mirror what many of us have witnessed in our own loved ones. At one point, she apologizes for “being so much trouble,” and as viewers, our hearts just sink.

Mary’s gentle, loving husband Harvey is played by Daniel Roebuck. The patience and tenderness he shows as he cares for his wife are exceptionally touching. Harvey exudes a quiet strength and devotion as her partner and protector, and his commitment is unwavering. When he takes Mary back to the local theater they once managed together, he discovers that music triggers something in her. While the music plays, he has his Mary back; this becomes a key element in the story.

Image Source http://www.ci.zumbrota.mn.us

As an adult daughter who watched my mother’s heartbreaking decline at the hand of Alzheimer’s, I found Kristi Knudson’s stinging portrayal of daughter Isabel to be spot on. Though difficult to watch at times, Knudson hit the mark with regard to the frustration, denial, and anger that comes with reluctantly assuming the role as your own mother’s caregiver. By the end of the film, she softens, accepting Mary for who she is now; the viewer is left with a sense that they are finally in a good place.

Supporting roles were brilliantly cast to highlight the depth and complexity of both the storyline and the characters themselves. In particular, Ellen Dolan’s quirky, free-spirited “Charlie” (Mary’s sister) provides bits of clever comic relief as well as some of the most moving moments in the film.

Likewise, Sally Kellerman’s depiction of Mary’s mother, Bernadette, was flawless. While we initially see this character as rather stoic and emotionless, we quickly watch that façade melt away. Although Kellerman’s screen time is minimal, her performance packed a powerful punch.

Image Source http://www.ci.zumbrota.mn.us

His Neighbor Phil proves it doesn’t take a huge budget or the magic of Hollywood to create a beautiful film that inspires hearts and minds. It was shot in Zumbrota, Minnesota, population 3,300, and the citizens of that town provided the majority of the film’s funding along with meals and lodging for the cast and crew.

Apparently this off the beaten path little town in Minnesota is also home to quite a bit of acting talent! A total of 18 local residents appeared in the film, including Kristi Knudson who had never acted before jumping into the role of Isabel! You can read more about the making of the movie in an article from SouthernMinn.com.

I truly loved the film and hope you’ll have an opportunity to see it. For more information about bringing His Neighbor Phil to your area, contact Lori LaBey, founder of Alzheimer’s Speaks at Lori@AlzheimersSpeaks.com.

 

 

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Two Alzheimer’s Caregivers: Straight from the Heart

25 Saturday Jul 2015

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Advocacy and Awareness, Blogging, Caregivers, Events, Face of Alzheimer's, Family, Inspiration, Music and Art, Ruminations, Smiles, Support system

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

alzheimers, alzheimers advocate, alzheimers caregivers, alzheimers music, alzheimers music festival, dementia

stained-glass-love-hands

Image Source: morguefile

I’ve seen a couple of posts this week that have really touched my heart. Allan Vann and Vince Zangaro are on very similar, yet different paths. One of the things they have in common is their willingness to share their stories to raise awareness and bring hope and comfort to other caregivers.

Allan Vann

Allan Vann is a talented blogger who has published hundreds of insightful, informative articles on his blog. He also recently began writing a column for the Huffington Post and was interviewed by CBS news last week.

Allan’s wife, Clare, was formally diagnosed with younger onset Alzheimer’s at age 63, but had been experiencing signs for several years before that. Allan cared his wife at home before making the difficult decision to place her in a care facility. However, he learned that doing so allowed him to be her husband again, rather than her 24×7 caregiver, which was a true gift to both of them.

allan

Image Source: CBS News

The CBS interview captures the pain of slowly losing a loved one to Alzheimer’s with a raw, emotional accuracy.

Although it was my mother rather than spouse that I lost to this horrid disease, so much of what Allan says rings true to me. The arguments were the most difficult – early on, we fought about everything, and that was so uncharacteristic of our relationship. So sad to think about it…

Read more and watch the Allan’s interview here.

Vince Zangaro

Vince Zangaro was just 29 when his father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s ten years ago at age 62. He & his wife, Amy, are full-time caregivers and by sharing their journey, they help others to stay afloat.

Vince had a wonderful piece published on The Caregiver’s Voice this past week. One of the things that makes it unique is that Vince wrote it from his father’s perspective.

When I open my eyes in the morning, I feel scared. Where am I? Where have I been? Do I know this place? I look to the right, and the people there are sleeping soundly. I can’t remember who they are, but I know they love me and I love them; I feel safe.

Image Source: Facebook

Read the full piece here.

In some ways, Vince’s posts and his videos make me miss my mom even more, but mostly they remind me of all the happy times we shared even as she fell further into the clutches of Alzheimer’s. His words also illustrate how having a loved one with Alzheimer’s changes our lives, and how that often results in us becoming better human beings.

One of his recent Facebook posts provided a simple, yet invaluable tip, in such a heartwarming way.

“I have learned when giving dad a hug to have it last a minute or longer. After the 60 second mark you will start to see him grasp the moment. It doesn’t always take medicine to help someone you love.”

And then there’s this video that makes me smile and cry at the same time…  if it was possible to make a 3-minute video that defines love in its truest form, this is it.


Vince is also founder of the Alzheimer’s Music Fest which you can read more about on Facebook or at the event website. If you’re in the Duluth, GA, area, check it out!

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Messages From Heaven: Do You Believe?

29 Monday Jun 2015

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Grieving, Inspiration, Life After Caregiving, Mom, Ruminations, Smiles

≈ 7 Comments

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messages from heaven

Do you believe our loved ones who have passed on send us signs they’re with us?

           
 

If it’s possible to send a message from heaven, I’ll get one to you.
~Lurlene McDaniel

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