Reflection…

Ran some errands today, picked up a few things for Mom’s Celebration of Life. Jess also talked me into making some pizzelles. We had two irons going, so it didn’t take long and I’m glad she suggested it; otherwise, it’s very unlikely I would have made them. Brought back memories of the last time Mom helped us – here at my house in 2009. She was living at Outlook Manor at the time. I remember she sat down right away and knew just what to do, but lost interest quickly. Smart woman – she decided she’d rather eat the cookies than press them.  (((smile)))

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One of my all time favorite photos – Christmas Eve – Good Ol’ Days

Tonight we sorted through a huge pile of photo albums and pulled more to be scanned for the slide show. I thought we were done until Jess found another huge tub of albums I had forgotten about. Perhaps we’ll get through those tomorrow night and then I can start pulling some jpg’s together.

I am vacillating between being overwhelmed and thinking we have everything covered. And, to be honest, what I’d like to do is just curl up with my favorite blanket for the rest of the winter. Probably a good thing we have so much to do, actually. I’m also extremely thankful for Jess at this time. She’s been staying here at the house, and that has been more of a comfort than I expected.

It’s odd because I usually love my solitude, but not so much at the moment. On the other hand, I really don’t want to be around or even talk to other people right now. Hard to explain. I don’t even really understand it myself… to be honest, the idea of Mom being gone doesn’t even feel real.

Social worker from Kobacker House called today. I guess someone from the “bereavement team” will be calling soon. Their services are available for up to 13 months. I haven’t decided yet whether I’ll take advantage or not…

One thought that keeps running through my head is something a friend said a couple of days ago. Maybe God called Mom home at this time so that she could help comfort the precious babes from Sandy Hook Elementary. When I close my eyes, I can almost envision that – she loved little ones so much. The thought brings me some measure of peace. Just to think of her healthy again and wearing a big smile on her face… surrounded by those sweet children.

The Dispatch ran the obituary today, and I believe it will be in the Butler Eagle tomorrow. I’m pleased with the way it turned out. I had written it while sitting at Kobacker House the night before she passed…

Here are some more of my favorite photos from happier times.

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Being silly – 1986

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Another favorite Christmas image…

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Mom’s retirement hot air balloon ride. She’d always wanted to do this, and I’m so glad we didn’t put it off…

Slow Motion

As Jess and I did some running around today, I felt like I was operating in slow motion… Getting things taken care of, but I’m in a bit of a fog. I think within a 10 minute span, I run through the entire spectrum of possible emotions. I’ve gotten so many messages from old friends of Mom’s and almost every single one brings tears. It is wonderful to know she meant so much to so many people… I really hope she knew that.

We had an appointment at the funeral home today, and while I was dreading it, the experience was made as painless as possible by a wonderful funeral director. For anyone local needing that service, I would recommend Southwick, Good, & Fortkamp on North High in Clintonville. Family owned, lovely place, and very compassionate people. It’s good to have that task scratched off the to do list.

Jess and I also ran by Eason House to drop off a few things and bring a couple of boxes home. All that’s left is a dresser, her clothes, and a few miscellaneous items which we’ll get later in the week. The house feels very strange. So quiet. So different. My mom definitely added a special energy to the place.

It felt good to see the sweet ladies, though, and spending some time with Mary made me smile. Of all the ladies, she is definitely the most like my mom. Maybe that’s why I have a special place for her in my heart. She started to cry as I was leaving, and I told her to think happy thoughts; that it always helps make us feel better when we’re sad. She looked into my eyes, smiled, and said, “Yes, I will do that.” ♥

I wrote this piece for Caregivers today…. The End of a Journey: Until We Meet Again

Thank you all for your support…

Just How She Would Want to be Remembered…

Celebrating her life…

I received this message today from an old friend and former boss of Mom’s. It made me smile. Such true words. It still doesn’t seem real that she’s gone…

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Ann, we will always remember Marilyn as one of our ultimate heroines. She had the biggest heart of anyone we’ve ever known. She was always the one picking someone up from the airport or taking them to dinner or making them dinner for that matter, or cleaning their clothes or cleaning their apartment. She had a way of making you feel special, no matter who you were. And what an optimist! She was the type of person you would want to spend time with because she would lift your spirits just by being around her. I think of her now and I smile. That’s how we know she’d want it though we recognize the world is a lesser place without her.