“I have Alzheimer’s”

Amazing story about Terry Pratchett -> here. I will definitely be doing some more research on him – what an incredible man.

Rest

Lorraine texted me updates around 9pm, 3am, and 6am; aside from two hours or so, mom had a good night. I didn’t go to sleep until almost 2am, but I think I slept the sleep of the dead. Thank you, Tylenol PM. It felt good to sleep, take a long, hot shower, and cuddle with Tucker. Little things make such a big difference.

Jess saw mom this morning and said she was fussing, but not screaming. When I got here, she sat up in the chair and smiled at me, her body language saying she was happy to see my face. Shortly after that, she fell asleep and has been sleeping all day. We stood her up once to take her bp, but she went right back to sleep. I guess her body finally reached the point of complete exhaustion. I laid down on the couch at 3:30pm to “close my eyes for a few minutes” and was shocked when I woke up, looked at the clock, and saw it was 5:30! She’s finally starting to rustle around a little bit now (6:30p).

If only she could be this peaceful all the time, without drugs…

Soul Searching and Turning Points

clockRevelations from the past 48 hours:

  • I am 100% certain that we have done everything we can do, and it’s finally time to let my amazing mama rest her weary body and mind. Love her so much.
  • I have the best daughter in the world. This experience has solidified our bond more than I knew possible.
  • The love my mom’s caregivers have for her is beyond words. I don’t think there’s been a dry eye in that house over the past couple of days.
  • I’m stronger than I think I am, but sometimes being strong means allowing myself to fall apart with no apologies and without beating myself up.
  • Just when I think I’ve cried until I can cry no more, I realize I was wrong.
  • Support and compassion from friends will help get you through the roughest of days.
  • No matter what’s going on in your life, if you step back for a minute, you’re bound to see incredible blessings, even among the clouds and gray skies.
  • In the grand scheme of things, most of the things we worry and stress over are incredibly trivial.
  • I am more committed than ever to educating people about this f*cking disease. Advocating for those who can’t advocate for themselves will forever be a critical part of my life.

In today’s Caregivers piece, I am sharing some of the thoughts that have brought me to this point. You can read it here: A Caregiver’s Soul Searching Journey.