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The Long and Winding Road…

~ An Alzheimer's Journey and Beyond

The Long and Winding Road…

Tag Archives: Alzheimer’s books

Motherhood: Lost and Found, a Memoir of a Mother’s Alzheimer’s

10 Thursday Nov 2016

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Advocacy and Awareness, Books, Caregivers, Family, Guests, Helpful Resources, Inspiration, Life After Caregiving, Sandwich Generation

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Tags

Alzheimer's books, alzheimers, alzheimers daughters, alzheimers memoir, dementia

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Ann Campanella with her mother

Today I’m very happy to share a guest post from award-winning author and blogger, Ann Campanella.

As Ann and I exchanged a few initial emails, I felt an immediate kinship with her. Alzheimer’s is life changing. For me, that manifested itself in a strong desire to use my experience for good – to help others. I’ve always said that I need to know this journey was not in vain and that our story has purpose. Ann shares that sentiment.

“Like you I’m passionate about reaching out to those who need support in their journey through Alzheimer’s,” she said. “My mother lived with the disease for almost a decade and a half, and, at the time, I felt very alone. That’s part of the reason I hope to share my story…to give others an emotional road map through this kind of difficult life circumstance.”

Please join me in thanking Ann for sharing her uniquely beautiful story with the world.

_____

A Guest Post by Ann Campanella

My mother was a kind and gentle soul who loved words. She came from a family of writers and artists who had a deep appreciation for nature and family relationships. Every summer, when I was a child, we canoed on the clear waters of Lake George near her ancestral home in upstate New York, and she taught me that if I looked closely, I could see all the way to the bottom.

After having Alzheimer’s disease for fourteen years, my mother passed away. But I’m still plumbing the depths, looking for beauty, the way she taught me.

In her early 70s, Mom first began showing signs of Alzheimer’s at the same time my husband I were trying to start a family. We had just moved from Houston to North Carolina, and were planning to build a barn for my horse Crimson.

I had my first miscarriage as Mom’s memory began slipping.

motherhood_ebookcovMy memoir, Motherhood: Lost and Found, tells the story of losing my mother to Alzheimer’s as I suffered through several years of infertility. For almost a decade, I walked a path of questioning who my mother was becoming and if I would ever be a mother myself.

I yearned to have my own children, yet I was thrust into the role of caretaker for my parents. My mother had always been kind and compassionate, so it was a shock when she wasn’t able to comfort me in my pregnancy losses.

In the beginning of her illness, Mom became angry and upset at her own confusion. I made regular trips across the state to spend time with and try to understand what was happening to her. In the book, I share my mother’s heart-wrenching anguish and our family’s bewilderment over her gradual descent into Alzheimer’s.

As my mother’s condition deteriorated, writing and nature were my solace.

I poured my emotions into my journals, and they became the backbone for my memoir. Writing provided a way for me to put some distance between myself and the grief I was feeling. When the pain was too much to bear, I would walk down to the barn. Some days, I would take a ride on my horse listening to the birds my mother used to love. Other days, I could do no more than lean my head against my horse’s neck.

Despite this decade of loss, a part of me felt vibrantly alive. Each loss made me more aware of the transient beauty around me. While my mother lost the ability to clothe, bathe and feed herself, I sensed her enjoyment of a gentle breeze or a sunlit window.

Mom often thought she was back at Lake George, at her childhood summer home. “Is that a sailboat?” she once asked me, pointing to a telephone pole in the parking lot of her rest home.

I was inspired by my mother’s will to live, her desire to connect even as her faculties slipped away. My faith, which had lain dormant for years, blossomed. As I learned to let go of what I had hoped for, I discovered gifts of grace all around me.

Motherhood: Lost and Found is my journey through my mother’s Alzheimer’s. It was not an easy road, but I am so grateful to have had those years with her. The memoir shares a story of transformation – how I lost the mother I thought I would have, but found, under the surface, a deeper appreciation for who she was and what it meant to be a mother.

 

author300Ann Campanella is the author of the award-winning memoir, Motherhood: Lost and Found. Formerly a magazine and newspaper editor, her writing has been widely published. She blogs about her life and horses at Fields of Grace and is a guest blogger about Alzheimer’s at www.careliving.org, a blog created by Kim Campbell, wife of country music singer Glen Campbell. Twice, Ann has received the Poet Laureate Award from the North Carolina Poetry Society. She lives on a small horse farm in North Carolina with her family and animals.

Check out Ann’s website, and connect with her on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

 

 

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Alzheimer’s Book Giveaway!!

02 Wednesday Nov 2016

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Books, Caregivers, Giveaways, Helpful Resources, Inspiration, November-National ALZ Awareness Month

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Tags

Alzheimer's books, alzheimers, alzheimers book giveaway, alzheimers caregivers, national alzheimers awareness month, national family caregivers month

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The contest is closed and our randomly chosen winners are Sandra Collard and Jeffrey Brown (check your inboxes for an email from me!). Thank you to all who entered! 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Did you know that November is National Family Caregivers Month as well as National Alzheimer’s Awareness Month?

With that in mind, I’ll be giving away two signed copies of Chicken Soup for the Soul: Living With Alzheimer’s and Other Dementias. I’m blessed to have been a contributor to this compilation of 101 stories that will touch your heart and provide inspiration even during the most challenging moments.

To enter the contest, all you need to do is leave a comment on this post. I’ll draw two winners on Friday, November 11. Contest is open to anyone in the contiguous United States.

Good luck!!

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Book Review: Elegy for Mom

28 Thursday Jul 2016

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Advocacy and Awareness, Books, Caregivers, Helpful Resources, Inspiration, Tips

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Tags

Alzheimer's books, alzheimers, alzheimers caregivers, caregiving, dementia

Elegy-for-Mom_BookCvrI’m often asked to review books on the topic of Alzheimer’s/dementia caregiving. I’d love to have time to get to all of them, but with limited bandwidth, I’m forced to pick and choose. Today, I’m happy to share Elegy for Mom: A Memoir of Family Caregiving, Alzheimer’s, and Devotion, by Vicki M. Kaufmann. At just over 100 pages, it’s a quick, easy read, yet covers a lot of ground!

In writing Elegy for Mom, Kaufmann’s goal was to share useful ideas and resources based on her own experience caring for her mother. To the degree possible, she wanted not only to offer support, but also to help bring meaning to the journey and reveal some of the blessings that can be found along the way.

Although the author has a background as a counselor, the book is really a very personal look at caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s. In fact, Kaufmann states early on that despite her clinical experience, she was unprepared for the job of caregiver.

She describes feeling emotions so many of us can relate to: first comes denial, followed by anger and depression, and finally, resignation. Kaufmann believes caring for a family member is a spiritual calling and often a “pathway to new levels of grace, courage, creativity, and love.” This resonates with me; through my own journey with my mother, I found courage I didn’t know I had, became a more compassionate human being, and felt a depth of love I didn’t know existed. Ultimately, like the author, I found purpose in sharing our story to help other families.

While no one would choose this journey, I truly appreciate those who can find something positive in the experience. Long-time caregiver and leading advocate Meryl Comer refers to this as “flipping the pain,” which is so fitting. We can wallow in grief and sorrow, or we can find something to be grateful for and even use our experience to ease the pain of others and affect change. Choosing the latter doesn’t mean there will never be sorrowful times when tears flow like a river; it just means that at the deepest level, we choose gratitude over bitterness.

vicki-imgElegy for Mom is filled with moving original poetry, snippets from Kaufmann’s personal journals, family photographs, and samples of her mother’s original artwork. Each chapter tackles a unique sub-topic, ultimately painting a picture of what could be any family making their way through life with Alzheimer’s – one day at a time.

Throughout the book, the author also includes tips for caregivers, grouped by topic: making the most of visits, dealing with the stress of caregiving, finding the best facility, and even simple affirmation exercises to fuel the spirit of the weary caregiver.

I found Elegy for Mom to be a lovely blend of storytelling, practical tips, helpful resources, touching poetry, and wonderful artwork. It’s a unique compilation based on one family’s experience – both a loving tribute to the author’s mother, Sophia, and a thoughtful, reflective gift to other caregivers. Kaufmann succeeded in crafting a gem that would make a great addition to any collection.

* Update (08.14.16) – Elegy for Mom has received a gold medal in the “Health and Fitness” category and a silver medal in the “How To/Self-Help” category in the Florida Authors and Publishers Association annual contest. Congratulations to Vicki Kaufmann on this well deserved recognition!!

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The Long and Winding Road

Between 2009 and 2015, Marilyn’s Mighty Memory Makers have raised over $22,000 in the fight to #ENDALZ! To all who have supported us, THANK YOU!!

Marilyn, BA (before Alzheimer's)

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