In bullets …

• Last night, I woke Mom up every four hours for lorazepam… even that didn’t prevent her from being up from 4am this morning until 9pm fussing, yelling, and crying… and completely exhausted. Hospice doc increased dose and I gave the first one tonight. She finally went to sleep around 9. Very restless, though.
• I went home and slept for about 3 hours this afternoon. A three hour nap never felt so good.
• Geri-chair came today – she doesn’t love it.
• I realized today that I don’t remember what “normal” life and routine is like… I’ve only been doing this for 10 days and I don’t know how in the world people do it long term. I feel like I’m in a fog, and there’s definitely a higher power helping me with each move I make. This is not me.
• I’m worried about work and what to do about next week, but trying to take it one day at a time… praying that God provides the answers I need.
• I am going to try to stay up until midnight lorazepam, then get some sleep. We moved the love seat back to mom’s room again; I’ve put her bed all the way down to the floor, and the crash pad between the love seat and bed. For some reason, she wants to be right by the edge of the bed. I move her to the middle and she moves back to the edge…
• Hospice nurse will be out again tomorrow.