Too tired for a long post. Suffice to say it’s been an emotional day. At least two people passed today. One was two doors down, and a few minutes ago, they wheeled another by our room. I just don’t even know what to say. I don’t know how these nurses and docs do this day in and day out. They have to be wrung out at the end of a 12-hour shift. Very, very special people.

They cancelled Mom’s sitters, so we are spending the night at Kobacker. I plan to discuss that with someone tomorrow… I am a little perturbed that I was not notified and didn’t realize this until I came in this morning to find Mom alone. I’m giving benefit of doubt right now and assuming some type of miscommunication or misunderstanding.

Today, they put three ports so that meds can now be given subcutaneously. We had an awful incident this afternoon and I won’t go into details, but it’s something I never ever want to witness again. She is at a point where she can no longer swallow, but we found out the hard way when she received a tiny amount of meds via oral syringe and couldn’t handle it. Awful.

We had both the chaplain and social worker in today. Definitely needed the extra support and glad it was available. Tears we plentiful. More and more signs that the end is nearing. The apnea is like nothing I’ve ever seen – up to 20 seconds without a breath. Very difficult to watch, but she is relaxed and comfortable with no signs of distress.

Jess brought some photo albums and so forth back with her tonight so that we can start pulling pics together for a slide show. We also have Mom’s retirement memory book here now and it is jam packed with notes and stories that can only make us smile. She touched so many lives; it’s incredible, really.

Continue to be amazed by the support from friends. Emily came in late tonight after a long day at work plus another commitment, and sat with Mom for a couple of hours. She lives all the way up in Delaware but that didn’t stop her from staying MUCH later than she should have. She’s such a comfort to all of us; what an angel.

Sheila also came after work and sat with me for a few hours while Jess ran some errands for me, grabbed a few things at home for us, and let Tucker out. Again, such a comfort and although she didn’t know my mom pre-ALZ, she is absolutely amazing with her. So gentle and kind, so soothing. She even helped me do Mom’s nails the other day. #Truefriend

Everyone… and I mean everyone has been so wonderful. We have an amazing family of friends. I hope I can return the kindness, I really do. My life has changed – I have changed. I can’t put my finger on it, but life as I knew it will never be the same after this experience.

Tonight, I am sending prayers across the miles to two friends from my high school class. Both have parents with this damn disease, and all three of them went into hospice within a few days of each other. Donalee’s dear mother earned her angel wings last night, and Maria has been sitting with her dad all day, living what sounds like a parallel experience to our own. Sending love and prayers ladies; with you in spirit.

My heart and soul...

My heart and soul…


One of three ports…