The days are running together…

05 Wednesday Dec 2012

Posted by Ann Napoletan in HomeReach, Hospice, Mom, Ruminations, Safety

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The picture of frustration: Clenching her balled up robe…

In bullets …

Last night, I woke Mom up every four hours for lorazepam… even that didn’t prevent her from being up from 4am this morning until 9pm fussing, yelling, and crying… and completely exhausted. Hospice doc increased dose and I gave the first one tonight. She finally went to sleep around 9. Very restless, though.
I went home and slept for about 3 hours this afternoon. A three hour nap never felt so good.
Geri-chair came today – she doesn’t love it.
I realized today that I don’t remember what “normal” life and routine is like… I’ve only been doing this for 10 days and I don’t know how in the world people do it long term. I feel like I’m in a fog, and there’s definitely a higher power helping me with each move I make. This is not me.
I’m worried about work and what to do about next week, but trying to take it one day at a time… praying that God provides the answers I need.
I am going to try to stay up until midnight lorazepam, then get some sleep. We moved the love seat back to mom’s room again; I’ve put her bed all the way down to the floor, and the crash pad between the love seat and bed. For some reason, she wants to be right by the edge of the bed. I move her to the middle and she moves back to the edge…
Hospice nurse will be out again tomorrow.

Short Update

04 Tuesday Dec 2012

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Eason House, Falls, HomeReach, Hospice, Mom, Safety

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photo-76 It was a crazy busy day and I’m beat, so this will be a short update….

Susie kicked me out around 7:30am to go home and sleep… I didn’t argue much – went home and laid down, slept for a couple of hours before the dog started barking and the phone started ringing. The last call was from Eason House letting me know that Mom had fallen.

Jumped in the shower long enough to get wet, then called the hospice nurse and drove back over here. Mom has a good sized knot on her forehead, which I imagine will be a nice, big bruise in a day or so, but otherwise, she seemed okay. Mary, our nurse, arrived shortly after I did and checked her out.

Tonight, I ordered a chair alarm – something we hadn’t thought of previously, but apparently it helps quite a bit with a resident at Crandall House who is a serious fall risk.

Without going into a lot of detail, I am VERY pleased with HomeReach; I truly feel that we (both Jess and I *and* our Eason House family) have another level of support now, that we probably needed awhile ago. Before Mary left, she had ordered a bedside pad so that if Mom rolls out of bed, the pad will be there. We also can lower her (hospital) bed down to the floor. She also ordered a geri chair which will be delivered tomorrow. I definitely think that is going to be helpful.

We are still discussing whether or not Freidenberg will continue to consult… that’s up in the air. Our team is meeting tomorrow and that is on the agenda.

Hospice nurse will be back Thursday and then doc will visit on Friday.

After all the commotion this afternoon, I ran to Walgreen’s, then decided to stop at home to change clothes and grab food. While I was there, a delivery came – and OH MY GOODness! What a surprise! A box from Crumbs bakery – a half dozen cupcakes the size of my head! Vanilla cake with coconut frosting. Out of this world. A dear sweet friend, realizing how much I love Crumbs, had them sent. I burst into tears when I saw who they were from. Overwhelming kindness… Once again, reminding me that this experience is making me want to be a better person. Thank you, beautiful Christy.

I need to write a quick post for Caregivers, then I’m going to try to get some sleep while Mom sleeps. I’m exhausted.

Long night…

04 Tuesday Dec 2012

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Mom

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photo-75 ….but certainly could have been much, much worse. Between 9:30p and 3:30a, she mostly slept. Obviously, I wasn’t going to wake her for lorazepam, so she missed the midnight dose. At 3:30, she woke up screaming. Got her to eat some ice cream and take the pill and she went back to sleep, but not for long. Horrible screams, which I think are even worse after she’s been mostly quiet for so long; sounds silly, but it’s almost as though my brain tricks itself into believing she’s okay… When she was sleeping peacefully today/tonight, she looked like herself, she really did.

Lorraine took her to the bathroom around 5a. That was the first she’s been up on her feet since this afternoon; they changed her in bed earlier in the evening. She’s so weak and with all of that Ativan in her system, she had a very hard time walking. After we got her back in bed, she was in and out for awhile where I couldn’t comfort her. When I’d tell her “it’s okay,” she’d scream even louder as if to say, “you stupid b*tch, it is NOT f*cking okay!!!!!” Those damn blood curdling screams. Torture for her.

I’m sitting in bed with her now, and she’s finally fallen asleep and is snoring. I can hear her stomach growling. 😦

Hopefully she’ll be able to rest until 7am meds.

I dozed off a couple of times earlier in the night while she was sleeping, but jumped up every time she stirred. I’m tired…

She’s awake again…