Meet Marilyn

26 Sunday Jun 2016

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Advocacy and Awareness, Face of Alzheimer's, Facts & Figures, Marilyn's Legacy, Mom, Video

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alzheimers, Alzheimers advocacy, alzheimers awareness, Marilyn's Legacy

Alzheimer’s & Gratitude: A Matter of Perspective

15 Wednesday Jun 2016

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Advocacy and Awareness, alzheimer's & brain awareness month, Blogging, Caregivers, Expectations, Grieving, Helpful Resources, Inspiration, Life After Caregiving, Marilyn's Legacy, Mom, Ruminations, Smiles

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alzheimer's & brain awareness month, alzheimers, alzheimers gratitude, caregiver grief, caregivers, dementia, gratitude

gllogo June is Alzheimer’s & Brain Awareness Month in the United States, and I’m grateful to my new friends at the worldwide Network for Grateful Living for helping shine the spotlight on Alzheimer’s!

After being introduced to their site, I was inspired to write a piece about Alzheimer’s and gratitude, two things we don’t necessarily see as going hand in hand. We know this disease brings with it pain and sorrow, shattered dreams, and disappointments over lost opportunities. We mourn uniquely beautiful lives cut short, and we struggle to say goodbye to what could (and should) have been. It’s a journey none of us would choose.

However, like anything in life, perspective matters. Some days, I could easily curl up in a blanket and sob for hours about how unfair it is that I began to lose pieces of my mom before I was out of my 30’s. Even as I write these words, I feel tears well up in my eyes.

Yet Alzheimer’s also made me a more compassionate person. It opened my eyes in many ways – to life’s most simple pleasures, to the fact that my story might actually help others, and to the idea that I had talents and abilities that had gone untapped and might be valued in venues I had never considered.

sunset-over-mountains Living through the experience reminded me that my time on earth is limited and there’s no time like the present. It made me sweat the small stuff a bit less. It even made me realize I could leave behind a very comfortable 27-year career with a Fortune 100 company to work for a much smaller non-profit with a strong mission and values I believed in.

Of course, I would trade every last one of those things to have my mom back. Of course I would. But having her back in this life isn’t an option, so I the best way I can honor her is to go on and live the best life I can. The best way I can keep her spirit alive is to do what I now feel is my life’s work, which includes the recent launch of a registered 501(c)(3) non-profit organization, Marilyn’s Legacy: A World Without Alzheimer’s.

I wish I’d grasped the idea of Alzheimer’s and gratitude much earlier in our journey, but I guess that’s what growth is all about. Fortunately, with time, experience, plenty of soul searching – and an ocean of tears – it came while she was still alive. The piece I wrote for Gratefulness.org is all about what a blessing that was. I hope you’ll take few minutes to visit the site to read and share Alzheimer’s Taught Me to be Grateful.

Bookmark the site and check them out on Facebook as well. Be sure to read about Brother David and the fascinating life he led before co-founding the Network for Grateful Living. This has become one of my favorite places for daily inspiration!

Mother’s Day 2016

08 Sunday May 2016

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Caregivers, Face of Alzheimer's, Grieving, Holidays, Life After Caregiving, Mom, Mother's Day, Ruminations

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alzheimers, alzheimers awareness, alzheimers grief, grief and loss, mothers day

I’ve been on edge all week for multiple reasons, one of which was surely the fact that Mother’s Day was everywhere I turned. Tomorrow will be the fourth iteration of this holiday since my mom’s passing. While the cutting pain of fresh loss dulls over time, grief remains. Days pass, then months and years; the pervasive ache is more intense in some moments than others.

While I had my car in for repairs a few nights ago, I lost count of the number of Mother’s Day related images that popped up on the television in the waiting area. Across from me, a mother and daughter engaged in an animated conversion peppered with laughter for 90 minutes. Even after the daughter’s car was ready, the pair remained in their chosen spot enjoying each other’s company. After 10 minutes or so, I’m ashamed to say I wanted to stand up and scream, “YOUR CAR IS READY – YOU CAN GO NOW!”

Sometimes when I see mothers and daughters out shopping together or enjoying lunch on a sunny restaurant patio, I’m enveloped in a flood of emotions. Happy memories frozen in time, yet sadness for what might have been – even a hint of jealousy. I want to be doing those things with my mom. I always envisioned her as a sassy, spunky, vibrant 70-something. But I had it wrong.

I’m thankful to know she’s in a better place, reunited with those she loved who were waiting for her on the other side. The thought of her beautiful soul now released from a weary body and muddled mind is comforting to be sure, but it doesn’t make me miss her any less. Still, the notion that her spirit is present in every moment and every beat of my heart is reassuring.

Mother’s Day 2016

Dear Mom,

I can hardly believe this will be my fourth Mother’s Day without you. Over the past several months, I’ve realized that in many ways, I miss you now more than ever. Someone suggested it’s because as life moves on, we yearn to share everyday happenings, milestones, joys, and sorrows with that person who was once such a significant part of our world.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve wished I could pick up the phone and talk to you about anything and everything. Trials and tribulations at work, the thrill of life’s most memorable moments, and the sheer joy and pride that comes with being a mom. I miss sharing laughter and tears – and everything in between.

From the mundane to the extraordinary, I just want to sit and share a cup of tea or a few glasses of wine and a long conversation. It’s sad to think of all the things you’ve missed out on, but that realization fuels the fire that burns deep inside me. I’ll continue fighting this battle until we win. Marilyn’s Legacy: A World Without Alzheimer’s – what a day that will be!

With love always,
Ann

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