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The Long and Winding Road…

~ An Alzheimer's Journey and Beyond

The Long and Winding Road…

Category Archives: Mom

Remembering…

02 Monday Sep 2013

Posted by Ann Napoletan in 4M, Advocacy and Awareness, Behaviors, Eason House, End of Life Signs, Expectations, Heartland, Hospice, Mom, Ruminations, Uncategorized, Weight Loss

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alzheimers, dementia, end of life signs, hospice

mom angelsIt’s nearly impossible to believe a year has passed since Mom began her sharp and unexpectedly rapid decline at the hand of Alzheimer’s.  It was about this time in 2012 that I realized scheduling a big vacation months in advance was a bad idea. At the time, though, things were “okay”… who knew what a difference one summer could make.

Praying for Comfort

There were fewer and fewer good days; she wasn’t eating – beginning to even turn her nose up at some of her favorite sweets – and was losing weight quickly. From that point on, her diet consisted primarily of Ensure until the end. Oh how excited we felt when she would eat a cracker or a couple of grapes; more than that and it was as though we’d hit the lottery, we were downright joyous!

photo-58In those weeks, it was indescribably painful to see her so distraught; screaming, hitting her head, and often inconsolable. In the few rare peaceful moments she had, she would stare at the ceiling, entranced, with a soft smile on her face and eyes almost sparkling. There’s not a doubt in my mind it was the very beginning of her transition. As upsetting as it was, seeing her at peace like that was also an incredible relief, but those moments of respite never lasted long.  All too soon, the terror she was obviously feeling would return.

Time For Hospice?

Finally, the time came where I knew I needed to make a decision. I called hospice to have them come out and do an assessment; unfortunately, we had a mind blowing, horrific experience with the intake nurse. I ended up asking her to leave before the process had been completed. On Monday, I called the office and told them to destroy the paperwork – I had changed my mind (there’s more to the story…).

It was the beginning of the final dizzying, nausea-inducing rollercoaster ride that lasted for the next 3 or so months. I thought I had seen it all, but I hadn’t seen anything yet…

Hopelessly Unpredictable Progression

So crazy to think earlier that same year I truly thought that she could easily live another 10 years or more. Physically, she was strong. But things can – and often do – change very rapidly where this disease is concerned.

Mom wasn’t done fighting, though. While she never bounced back to where she had been, she did turn things around one more time – for a short spell – before that final downward spiral. I went from being certain she only had weeks left to believing she might actually rebound; however, that was not the case. Amazing how your mind plays games, but with this disease, “rebound” is a very relative term…

_____

If you would like to help us raise awareness, research dollars, and funds to help families on this journey right now, visit Marilyn’s Mighty Memory Makers’ page to join the team or make a monetary donation. In just two weeks, we’ll be walking to #ENDALZ.

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Guide to Evaluating Residential Dementia Care

22 Thursday Aug 2013

Posted by Ann Napoletan in A Place for Mom, Caregivers, Caregivers.com, Emeritus, Finding a Facility, Helpful Resources, Mom, Pat Summitt, The Early Years, Tips

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alzheimers, assisted living, dementia, long term care

Pat Summitt Foundation Guide

Kudos to the Pat Summitt Foundation for putting together this free 50+ page publication on evaluating long-term care options. 

Extracting my head from the sand

Long-term care decisions are among the most difficult you will ever face, and unfortunately it’s often a “baptism by fire” situation. That was certainly the case for us; my mom had been in the hospital and I’ll never forget standing in the hallway, numb, as the OT, PT, and social worker told me she couldn’t go home. Living independently was no longer an option. 

I shouldn’t have been caught off guard, but I was. Oh yes, I knew in my heart the day was coming, but I had buried my head deeply in the sand on the vast beach of denial. I didn’t know a darn thing about long-term care. Nothing.

So, with one week to find a facility and get Mom moved in, I dove in head first armed with — not much of anything. I had enlisted assistance from A Place For Mom, which helped immensely, but oh how I wish I’d had the Pat Summitt Foundation guide. This was all uncharted territory for me, and I learned as I went.

Business is business

While it would be lovely if everyone had their heart in the right place, the bottom line is – well, the bottom line. It comes down to dollars and cents, sales, and monthly numbers. All too often, the focus is on keeping the building full regardless of whether or not the facility can provide adequate care to meet the needs of potential residents.

In fact, a recent Frontline exposé on Emeritus Senior Living points out that facilities sometimes even seek out advanced dementia cases. Why? Well, those residents require a higher level of care, which equates to a higher monthly payment. And after all, it IS all about the bottom line, isn’t it? The facility may not be equipped or staffed to handle the care, but somehow that becomes secondary to filling the building. 

Asking the right questions

This is why it’s so very important to know exactly what to look for – and what to ask – when you’re evaluating options. The Summitt Foundation guide is divided into five chapters:

  • Dementia care options and services
  • Publicly available information about quality of care
  • Who to interview and what to ask
  • The value of observation
  • Strategies for being the best advocate you can be + list of additional resources

In addition, the e-booklet provides valuable interview guides specific to staffing, satisfaction surveys, chronic pain screening, and food service, as well as a worksheet for documenting observations. These comprehensive tools also include scoring guides and rationale to help you quantify your findings.

Eyes wide open

My nuggets of advice for families embarking on this journey:

  • Don’t wait until the last minute; start early so you’re somewhat prepared when the time comes.
  • Ask tons of questions and observe, observe, observe while you’re in the building.
  • Make unannounced visits at various times of the day/evening.
  • Talk to current residents and family members.
  • Listen to your gut – it will rarely lead you astray. If your instincts tell you something doesn’t feel right, trust yourself.
  • Download How to Evaluate the Quality of Residential Care for Persons With Dementia, by Sandra F. Simmons, Ph.D., John F. Schnelle, Ph.D., and Anna N. Rahman, Ph.D., and put it to good use!

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Walking to #ENDALZ

17 Saturday Aug 2013

Posted by Ann Napoletan in 4M, Advocacy and Awareness, ALZ Assn Central Ohio, Events, Facts & Figures, Mom, Walk to End ALZ

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Walk to End Alzheimer's

banner_walktoendalz2Well, it’s that time of year again. The Walk to End Alzheimer’s has moved from June to September, and apparently that has thrown me off! I’m just now – with the Walk less than a month away – starting my fundraising in earnest, so I have a lot of catching up to do.

4M Strikes Again!

mom1This year’s event will take place on September 14, one day shy of 9 months since my beautiful mother was set free of this horrible disease. Last year, we raised $2,670, and I would love nothing more than to honor her memory by beating that – even if by just one dollar! If you can help, please visit Marilyn’s Mighty Memory Makers on the web to donate.

This is a disease that can strike any family – it doesn’t discriminate, and almost all of us have been or know someone who has been personally touched by its wrath.

The Numbers Don’t Lie

Consider this ….  By 2025, the number of people age 65 and older with Alzheimer’s disease is estimated to reach 7.1 million—a 40 percent increase from the 5 million age 65 and older currently affected. By 2050, the number of people age 65 and older with Alzheimer’s disease may nearly triple, from 5 million to a projected 13.8 million, barring the development of medical breakthroughs to prevent, slow or stop the disease.

Based on those numbers, there’s no question that time is of the essence. Researchers are making advances every single day, but funding is just not there yet. In 2011, the NIH spent $3 billion on research into AIDS, $4.3 billion on heart disease, and $5.8 billion for cancer…  Compare those figures to what is being spent annually on ALZ research… less than $500 million.  

Mortality Rates are Rising

rib-purple_endalz_sm

Yet ALZ is the only cause of death among the top 10 in America without a way to prevent it, cure it or even slow its progression. Deaths from Alzheimer’s increased 68 percent between 2000 and 2010, while deaths from other major diseases, including the number one cause of death (heart disease), decreased.

If you would like to help, please visit Marilyn’s Mighty Memory Makers on the web. It only take a few clicks to make a contribution, and every little bit helps.

Thank you!!!

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Marilyn, BA (before Alzheimer's)

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