• Home
  • Helpful Resources
  • Reading List
  • Recommended Blogs
  • Marilyn’s Legacy: A World Without Alzheimer’s
  • About Me
  • Contact Me

The Long and Winding Road…

~ An Alzheimer's Journey and Beyond

The Long and Winding Road…

Category Archives: Ruminations

Mother’s Day 2016

08 Sunday May 2016

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Caregivers, Face of Alzheimer's, Grieving, Holidays, Life After Caregiving, Mom, Mother's Day, Ruminations

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

alzheimers, alzheimers awareness, alzheimers grief, grief and loss, mothers day

I’ve been on edge all week for multiple reasons, one of which was surely the fact that Mother’s Day was everywhere I turned. Tomorrow will be the fourth iteration of this holiday since my mom’s passing. While the cutting pain of fresh loss dulls over time, grief remains. Days pass, then months and years; the pervasive ache is more intense in some moments than others.

While I had my car in for repairs a few nights ago, I lost count of the number of Mother’s Day related images that popped up on the television in the waiting area. Across from me, a mother and daughter engaged in an animated conversion peppered with laughter for 90 minutes. Even after the daughter’s car was ready, the pair remained in their chosen spot enjoying each other’s company. After 10 minutes or so, I’m ashamed to say I wanted to stand up and scream, “YOUR CAR IS READY – YOU CAN GO NOW!”

Sometimes when I see mothers and daughters out shopping together or enjoying lunch on a sunny restaurant patio, I’m enveloped in a flood of emotions. Happy memories frozen in time, yet sadness for what might have been – even a hint of jealousy. I want to be doing those things with my mom. I always envisioned her as a sassy, spunky, vibrant 70-something. But I had it wrong.

mom-me

I’m thankful to know she’s in a better place, reunited with those she loved who were waiting for her on the other side. The thought of her beautiful soul now released from a weary body and muddled mind is comforting to be sure, but it doesn’t make me miss her any less. Still, the notion that her spirit is present in every moment and every beat of my heart is reassuring.

 


mom-crop.Mother’s Day 2016

Dear Mom,

I can hardly believe this will be my fourth Mother’s Day without you. Over the past several months, I’ve realized that in many ways, I miss you now more than ever. Someone suggested it’s because as life moves on, we yearn to share everyday happenings, milestones, joys, and sorrows with that person who was once such a significant part of our world.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve wished I could pick up the phone and talk to you about anything and everything. Trials and tribulations at work, the thrill of life’s most memorable moments, and the sheer joy and pride that comes with being a mom. I miss sharing laughter and tears – and everything in between.

From the mundane to the extraordinary, I just want to sit and share a cup of tea or a few glasses of wine and a long conversation. It’s sad to think of all the things you’ve missed out on, but that realization fuels the fire that burns deep inside me. I’ll continue fighting this battle until we win. Marilyn’s Legacy: A World Without Alzheimer’s – what a day that will be!

With love always,
Ann

smile

Other Mother’s Day Posts
Mother’s Day Reflections: The Journey Continues (05.09.15)
Missing Mama (05.10.14)
And So It Begins: Mother’s Day (04.28.14)
Mother’s Day Memories (05.12.13)
Mother’s Day Blessings (05.12.13)
Dear Mom (05.09.13)
What Is Your Mother’s Legacy – Caregivers.com (05.09.13)
Mother’s Day and Melancholy Moments (05.12.12)

Share this:

  • Share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
Like Loading...

Update: Will Ferrell – Comedic Depiction of Reagan with Alzheimer’s in Poor Taste

29 Friday Apr 2016

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Advocacy and Awareness, Ruminations

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

alzheimers, dementia, ronald reagan, will ferrell, will ferrell movie

me and mom

-Reality

Update:  One day after this news broke, amid outrage from the Reagan family and the Alzheimer’s community as a whole, Will Ferrell has pulled out of the film.

While I’m very thankful for this, the entire situation is indicative of a much larger issue. The events of the past two days illustrate there is a widespread misconception about exactly what Alzheimer’s is and what the disease does to everyone it touches. The fact that a comedic storyline of this nature was conceived of and a production company took on the project remains a travesty.

It’s a powerful reminder that we, as advocates, must remain tenacious as we go forward to educate the public about all forms of dementia. Perhaps Mr. Ferrell will now join us on that mission.

I am encouraged by the fact that over the past 24 hours, the outcry of thousands was heard loud and clear. It is my hope that at the end of the day, the media attention this yielded will help further our goal of bringing Alzheimer’s out of the shadows.

Patti Davis wrote an eloquent update to her earlier open letter, which you can find on her website, and my friend and fellow advocate, Mike Belleville, has started a petition calling for the script to be destroyed. As a 55-year-old living with younger onset Alzheimer’s disease, Mike has rather strong feelings on the matter. Please sign the petition and share widely on social media, asking others to do the same.

Fondly,
Ann


I haven’t been writing much due to lack of time and inspiration. However, upon reading about Will Ferrell’s upcoming film, Reagan, I find myself spurred by the asinine notion that Alzheimer’s disease provides an acceptable comedic storyline.

For those who haven’t heard, Ferrell will portray Ronald Reagan “in the throes of Alzheimer’s”[1] for a comedy feature he is also producing.

Clearly Mr. Ferrell has not watched helplessly as his mother literally lost her mind before his eyes over a long, slow, painful decade. He has not swapped roles with a strong, beautiful, independent woman in her mid-60’s, becoming her parent as she became a child again. He doesn’t know what it’s like to see the person who was always his rock suddenly need help with even the most intimate, personal activities of daily living.

I doubt Will Ferrell has had to take his mother’s car keys when it was no longer safe for her to drive or tell her she would have to leave her home because that, too, had become unsafe. He hasn’t received a phone call on a snowy, sub-zero winter night, and heard the voice on the other end of the phone tell him his mother has eloped and was found wandering up the middle of a busy street in the dark.

The actor hasn’t desperately tried to calm his mother when she screamed for hours on end, unable to explain what was wrong because she could no longer communicate verbally. Will Farrell has never stood by as his mother accused him of stealing from her because the paranoia that comes with Alzheimer’s had turned him into an enemy. Nor do I imagine he has watched as she was terrorized by the hallucinations that also accompany dementia.

Mr. Ferrell hasn’t fed his mother when she could no longer feed herself. He hasn’t seen the emptiness in her eyes as she blankly stares off into space, oblivious to her surroundings. He doesn’t have particularly poignant milestones indelibly etched in his mind – like the moment he realized his mother no longer remembered how to put on a pair of pants. And, he probably doesn’t know what it’s like when friends and family stop visiting because they “can’t handle seeing her like that.”

He hasn’t listened to his mother beg over and over again to “go home” or watched tears stream down her face when she’s having a moment of clarity and knows darn well something is terribly wrong. He hasn’t heard his otherwise non-verbal mother suddenly cry out, “HELP ME” or “I WANT TO DIE.”

God willing, Will Ferrell will never have to give his mother morphine to keep her calm and comfortable until the hospice nurse arrives in the middle of the night. And he won’t be forced to watch as Alzheimer’s ultimately kills her.

The experiences [2] I’ve mentioned in this piece provide a tiny glimpse into what it’s like to lose someone to this horrific disease. Believe me, what you’ve read is the sanitized version of reality. I saw a headline earlier this evening that asked, “Can Will Ferrell Make Alzheimer’s Funny?” I’ll let you be the judge.

Patti Davis, daughter of Ronald Reagan, has released an open letter to Will Ferrell. I hope you’ll take a moment to visit her website to read it. If you are as outraged as many of us, please share Ms. Davis’ letter widely. 

[1] Patti Davis, An Open Letter to Will Ferrell, 04.28.16. http://booksbypattidavis.com/an-open-letter-to-will-ferrell/

[2] This is but a small sample of actual experiences I (and millions of other family caregivers ) have lived. 

Share this:

  • Share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
Like Loading...

Younger Onset Alzheimers: The Epitome of Unfair

28 Monday Mar 2016

Posted by Ann Napoletan in Advocacy and Awareness, Caregivers, Early Onset, Face of Alzheimer's, Grieving, Ruminations

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

alzheimers, alzheimers caregiving, alzheimers end of life, alzheimers grief, dementia, missing jim, younger onset alzheimers

alzheimers-garner-foundation

Photo Credit: The Garner Foundation

I know we can all agree there is plenty in life that’s unfair, but at the moment one specific example is on my heart.

Not that long ago, Karen & Jim Garner and their children were just like any other family. However, all of that changed when Jim was diagnosed with Younger Onset Alzheimer’s Disease at age 48. Jim had a long successful career in the Air Force, and pictures from just a few years ago show a strong, handsome, athletic husband and father of two young children.

This weekend, Karen added a new post to her blog, Missing Jim. If you follow the blog you know that Karen writes with a raw, pull-no-punches honesty. I have such respect for this woman’s courage and grace. The blog is a story of true love, unexpected moments of joy, the kind of loneliness only this disease can exert on a wife, and a sense of loss that defies all logic.

In February, Jim began receiving hospice care. His decline has been swift. As I read Karen’s latest post, it reminded me of my own internal struggle in those last days with Mom. On one hand, wanting to let her go to a peaceful place where she would be whole again, yet on the other hand wanting so badly to hang on to her forever. I can’t imagine being a 46-year-old woman facing that clash of emotions as she watches her husband near the end at the hand of this horrid disease.

Please read and share Karen’s March 27th post titled, I Got That Dreaded Call. Keep this family in your prayers, and share their story. Help Karen educate the masses.

“I want people to see what Alzheimer’s Disease does to a wonderful human being. I want to break the misconception that Alzheimer’s Disease is just old people forgetting someone’s name or getting lost. I want to erase the stereotypical patient idea.”  ~Karen Garner

Share this:

  • Share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
Like Loading...
← Older posts
Newer posts →
© Copyright 2025
All Rights Reserved
The Long and Winding Road

Marilyn, BA (before Alzheimer's)

Contributor

Contributor

Recent Posts

  • The Latest Alzheimer’s Research Developments
  • National Caregivers’ Day: February 21, 2025
  • June 7, 2021: A Historic Day
  • UsAgainstAlzheimer’s National Alzheimer’s Summit: Don’t Miss It!
  • Happy 84th Birthday, Mom.

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 443 other subscribers

Archives

Blog Directory & Business Pages at OnToplist.com

Blog Stats

  • 142,227 hits

Meta

  • Create account
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.com
stats for wordpress

Categories

Popular Posts

  • About Me
  • Thank you!
  • A Special Bond
  • Monday ... on Caregivers
  • Telling the Story
  • Hiding In the Canned Goods Aisle...and Other Stuff
  • Walking a mile in his shoes...
  • CGSN: Focus on YOU!
  • Look for me on VoiceQuilt!
  • Caregiving: Imperfections, Weaknesses, Acceptance, and Forgiveness

Recent Comments

  • Motherhood: Lost and Found, a Memoir of a Mother’s Alzheimer’s | The Long and Winding Road… (alzjourney.com) | Ann Campanella on Motherhood: Lost and Found, a Memoir of a Mother’s Alzheimer’s
  • Betty Trimble on Film Review: Angel’s Perch
  • Carol on Caregiver PTSD: Fact or Fiction?
  • (3) Ritamae Reichardt on When Caring Takes Courage: A MUST HAVE Caregiving Guide
  • Mary Jo George on June 7, 2021: A Historic Day

Pages

  • 2013-2014 News Archive
  • Helpful Resources
  • Latest News & Events
  • Postmaster General Letter – Alzheimer’s Semipostal
  • R E S I S T Resources
  • Reading List
  • Recommended Blogs
  • About Me
  • Contact Me
Coming Soon!
Marilyn's Legacy: A World Without Alzheimer's, Inc.
Stay tuned!!

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Subscribe Subscribed
    • The Long and Winding Road...
    • Join 443 other subscribers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • The Long and Winding Road...
    • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...
 

    %d